Disclaimer: This is the death match preview show. It is not a popularity contest. All participants are taken from the War Room over a flame war, disagreement, or pig butt nasty insult throwing. Even though the author may have an opinion about these flame wars, he will not let it be known through the stories. The story itself is fictional, but there may be words, phrases, or actions in the story that may offend readers. I will not be held responsible if you have a heart attack, have a seizure, or if your head explodes. In short, you have been warned. Also do not try any of these stunts at home, be it that they are made up by me. Anyways it is just a story&Enjoy!

Announcer: Welcome ladies and gentleman, it is Monday Night, do you know where your testes are? Well it is time once again to let loose, not a fart mind you, but to let loose on another installment of Monday Night Death Match Preview Show! Your host as always is Sid6.9&* The in-house fans cheer wildly as Sid6.9 makes his way to his seat *

Sid6.9- Thank you, thank you all. And please give a warm round of applause for my War Room Announcer Dude * Points to the Announcer dude, will the room is quite, except for a chirping cricket *.

Turns towards the monitor.

Sid6.9- Well fight fans, what a match we had last Friday! Wow, who would have thought that the Mysterious Cloaked Man was none other than Death~Lizard from Inforceptor. Man oh man I was sure it was Peter (AKA Fake Sid6.9). Well anyways that was not the only shock of the night, as we all witnessed the re-birth of the Mastodon of the mat; Peak_Man!

Sid6.9 picks up a piece of paper and folds it into a paper plane and throws it at the Announcer Dude.

Sid6.9- Peak_Man sure did surprise us with his return! But the biggest shock of the night came from Flutie 3:16! As the match was going on between Peak_Man against Flutie, Acid~Angel, E-MONEY, and Winds of the Past, we saw Flutie make an obvious turn against the War Room and the Death Match when he joined allegiance with Death~Lizard and Peak_Man to form the New World Disorder! Well I for one am sure that our stable of fighters will be able to quell this threat at some point. But for now it is a new week! And that means a new Death Match! * The fans go "Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop!"

Sid6.9 turns around in his chair again to face the naked one-eyed bearded lady.

Sid6.9- Okay fight fans for the announcement of the next participants we take you to our roaming reporters Master Sidious and Rstefan01. Guys you there.

Master Sidious- We are here Sid, and thanks for clearing up where you stand with this New World Disorder business. I m looking forward to seeing the likes of Edge, Tridus, and Deathwish to stick flagpoles up there asses and wave them around like Death Match flags. But until that happens, well it s a new week of Death Match, and we have 2 competitors ready to go at it.

Master Sidious- But first let me introduce my cohort, he is the "Butcher of Bakersville", the "Destroyer of Dingleberries" and the man that beat down Po of the Teletubbies for grabbing his girls ass, Big Sexy Stefan! * All the ladies scream, "Oh Big Sexy, show us your pocket rocket, yeah!! *

Big Sexy Stefan- That s right fight fans I am Big Sexy Stefan the Human Love Machine! Just hold on there ladies cause Daddies big trouser snake wants you too , yeah! But until then this is the&

Both Together- Monday Night Death Match Preview Show! * The In-house fans scream insanely *

BSS- Wow Sidious, what a match we had last Friday! You know I m still in shock over Fluties backstabbing!

MS- As well as myself! But we need to put that behind us for now, as we have a new match-up this week. Big Sexy, tell the fight fans about how this match came to play.

BSS- Okay Sidious, well this flame war got started about a sarcastic post made by one forumer about how he was making a patch for Starcraft. Well the first participant flamed him over the sarcastic post so bad, that he got several replies from several members of the War Room flaming him back. Well one forumer really stood out among these posts and tonight, we bring them into the ring to battle it out, death match style.

MS- All right there Big Sexy, and this will be a special death match! Why do you ask! Well one of the competitors shortly after making that post just disappeared and hasn t been seen since. Well we tracked him down, and just to ensure that he will fight in the death match we will incase the ring with a steel cage! That s right fight fans it is Death Match in a cage! Big Sexy tell the fight fans about our first competitor.

BSS- Okay Sidious, our first competitor hails from the velvet room in Las Vegas, and from what I here it is real velvet the use! Anyways he is one heck of a surprise combatant as he is a virtual nobody! But the havoc he created was legendary to say the least, I mean the thread he created was as long as my, heh heh well just say he s one-eyed and likes to turn purple, heh heh! So this man suddenly though crawled back into the crack from which he came. And from what I hear that plumber is quite happy he is there!

MS- Umm come on Big Sexy, quit stalling and tell the fans who he is.

BSS- Oh sorry about that, well he is the one and only Kramer! This fighter like I said had disappeared, but with the help of Sidious s Blood Hounds, Gretrude and Rex, we were able to track him down to a Starbucks coffee house in downtown Seattle, and grab him for this weeks death match. This fighter is brutal as it took 5 men just to subdue him. With moves like "Kramer Cream" and the "Madman s Smack Down" can really leave some serious scars on your body. But with his finisher known as the "Scottish Fists of Fury" can really leave you with a few new a-holes where you won t want them.

MS- Wow, I wonder why he didn t hang around, he sounds like a powerhouse! Well lets take a look at the tale of the tape for Kramer&

Tale of the Tape: Kramer
MS- All right Big Sexy, take us through who his opponent for the death match will be.

BSS- Well while there were several top contenders eyeing this challenge, one definentaly stuck out! And he is now going to do the dirty deed in the cage this Friday! He is from Merry ole Jolly England! He cries out in his fierce battle cry that is British! This man in one word would be "Monster"! He s so fricking huge! Anyways this man has got power moves, on top of power moves, that are even on top of other power moves. He has a variety of them, but his famous ones are "Head Bashing Bloody Good Time Their Governor" and the "Boot High Up Your Landers" will leave you wearing your butt for a hat. At any rate this mans finisher is one for the record books it is "The British Pound Baby"!

MS- Damn, he does sound big! I hope he can have what it takes to stop this Kramer fellow though! Lets take a look at the tale of the tape for British&

Tale of the Tape: British MS- Well there you have it fight fans, this Friday we are going to see Kramer Vs British in a Caged Heat Death Match! Until then lets go ahead and send you back to Sid6.9. (Pushes on his earpiece, in his ear, well where else would it be?) Oh wait we are not going back to Sid, wait for a second. Really?!?

BSS- (Leaning over trying to listen to Master Sidious s ear) What, What! What is so really?!? * As Master Sidious pushes Big Sexy away. *

MS- Well fight fans, we have just received word that the Death Match council has booked another fight for this Friday! We will be having a double header!

BSS- Yes! It s the best thing to happen since they started making them Christy Cannon love dolls aga& err, I mean umm, oh, uh, hey isn t that David Hasselhoff! * Pointing towards the in-house crowd *

Zoinks! (As Big Sexy runs off the stage)

MS- Umm ooookkkkaayyyy, anyways tune in tomorrow folks and we will give the second match announcement. But until then lets take it back to Sid6.9!

Sid6.9- Thanks a lot there guys, man I m sure looking forward to this fight! And stay tuned tomorrow fight fans cause we will announce the second bout tomorrow! So until this Friday, remember, keep your foot in the gutter and one fist up someones piehole and even you! Can be on the Friday Night War Room Death Match.

As the credits role.

Announcer Dude- Monday Night Death Match Preview Show was brought in part by Tridus Incorporated. Tridus Incorporated is in part responsible for everything that happens at midnight 31 December 1999.

Copyright: Sid6.9 Enterprises, all rights reserved to Sid6.9 Enterprises

Any and all rebroadcasts are prohibited without written approval and consent from Sid6.9 Enterprises.