Death Match Preview Show: Monday December 27, 1999

Disclaimer: This is the death match preview show. It is not a popularity contest. All participants are taken from the War Room over a flame war, disagreement, or pig butt nasty insult throwing. Even though the author may have an opinion about these flame wars, he will not let it be known through the stories. The story itself is fictional, but there may be words, phrases, or actions in the story that may offend readers. I will not be held responsible if you have a heart attack, have a seizure, or your if your head explodes. In short you have been warned. Also do not try any of these stunts at home, be it that they are made up by me. Anyways it is just a story…Enjoy!

Announcer- Welcome ladies and gentleman to the lavish War Room. * The in-house fans cheer * I am the announcer, announcer dude. * The fans cheer mildly * And this is the Monday Evening Death Match Preview Show! * The fans cheer wildly as they here this, a Double-O-Seven and Y2T chant start almost simultaneously * Lets take you to our facilitator for the Death Match Preview Show, Sid6.9! * The fans start to boo as Sid6.9 makes his way out *

Sid6.9 (In front of the fans)- All right shut the hell up! I let you all back in here, so show me some damn respect. * Some dude with a Pokemon rocks shirt sticks his tongue out at Sid and gives him a raspberry *

Sid quickly motions for his guards who grab the guy and beat him amongst the head and shoulders. The rest of the fans watch in horror as this is going on.

Sid6.9- All right anyone else want to be a wise ass? * No one does anything * All right then lets continue the show.

Sid6.9 heads over to his desk and sits down.

Sid6.9- Ahhhhh, so what a Death Match we had last Friday. Man oh man that match between Akardam and Proman911 was one for the ages. I mean it was pure excitement wasn’t it folks?

Voice- No, I’d say it was more pathetic and boring, and to tell you the truth I’d rather watch paint dry.

Sid6.9- All right, I know that’s you Tridus, get out of here now!

Tridus makes his way out from behind the stands where the fans sit, and the fans start to go insane.

Y2T- Hiya Sid, I see that you’ve overcome that illness of yours.

Sid6.9- Any thing that has to do with me, has absolutely nothing to do with you! Now get out of here, I have a show to run.

Y2T- Well actually Sidister, I do have a right to be here, as I am too in the Death Match this Friday.

Sid6.9 thinks about this for a moment, then agrees to let him stay…

Sid6.9- All right you want to stay, fine. But you get out of line, or touch me and you are out, and I mean out.

Y2T- Oh don’t worry, I want to savor the expectation of killing you this Friday.

Sid6.9- Yeah well, I don’t think your team has what it takes, hell that big goof Debt Angel killed your two butt boys in Beavis and Butthead.

Y2T (Just smiles)- Yeah, I told him to do that, heh heh they were pretty dumb.

Sid6.9- Yeah well whatever, anyway, then your big time tag partner goes and has a complex about his character and cries and whines on how it is so unfair and all that I gave him the choice gimmick.

Y2T- Yeah he has been acting like a women lately, heh heh, he should come out on the show this week in a dress.

Sid6.9 (In straight up mind control mode)- Yeah, good idea, and what about how he never pays? I mean who paid for the death match fee for fighting this week?

Y2T- Well I did.

Sid6.9- You mean SM_007 didn’t chip in?

Y2T- Well no.

Sid6.9- What about when you all went out to the nudie bars, sushi bars, oxygen bars, sand bars, and all the other bars, who paid.

Y2T (Starting to get visible upset)- I did!

Sid6.9 (Talking smoothly now and in control)- And who did you borrow that money from.

Y2T- Debt Angel.

Sid6.9- And isn’t he the one that wants to kill you for the money?

Y2T (Thinking hard)- Yeah, he does.

Sid6.9- And you are fighting with him this week right?

Y2T- Yeah, he’s on my team, like Sunday, remember he paid to get into it.

Sid6.9- Oh yes I remember, generous fellow he is. But if he wants to kill you, and he is fighting with you on the same team, won’t that make it easier for him to kill you?

Y2T- Whatcha mean?

Sid6.9- Well, look, he’s on your team, and you’re winning as usual.

Y2T- Oh yeah, we are winning, yeah your so dead.

Sid6.9- Of course, you’re the man. I mean you got all the skills to kill us all.

Y2T- Hey, I’m glad you can see that, but what do you mean about Debt Angel.

Sid6.9- Well think about it, you tag in from him, you climb in the ring to kill me, then all of a sudden Debt Angel grabs you from behind and smashes you down to the mat, as your blood oozes out and your vital organs fail. I mean it is real clever of him don’t you think? I mean what a genius. I wouldn’t even have thought of that.

Y2T- Hey, you’ve got something there. I think I need to go talk to that guy, right now!

Sid6.9- Wooooo, what about SM_007?

Y2T- What about him, I know he’s a cheapskate, but he will show up.

Sid6.9- Yeah but do you think he wants you to go around telling people what a cheapskate he is. I mean he could be out to backstab you too. Hey you are the man on that team, they are obviously jealous of you.

Y2T- Of course, what a dolt I am, thank you Sid (Shakes his hand), man I’m going to hate to have to kill you on Friday. You really aren’t that bad of a guy.

Tridus heads out the door looking for SM_007 and Debt Angel with his 100 list silly stick in tow and red in his eyes.

Flutie makes his way out…

F3:16- Sid, have you gone off your rocker! What are you doing making friends with, well, him? * Pointing his thumb in the direction that Y2T left *

Sid6.9 just starts laughing as he waves his hand at Flutie.

Sid6.9- Heh, heh, it’s okay Flutie. I just sent the cat to go eat the canaries. That’s if the canaries don’t eat the cat first, ha ha ha ha ha.

Flutie not sure what Sid means just laughs with him, shrugs his shoulders and leaves.

Sid6.9- Well fight fans, Friday I will run down the particulars in the match. If there is a match * Menacing laugh ensues * But this match will be a sudden death match. What does that mean, well I will tell all on Friday. But first, here are the participants in the match, and yes, it is unfair. Why? (Narrows his eyes at the camera) Cause I can make it unfair.

Team NWD

Sid6.9- Flutie3:16- Info- Main man in The NWD. He is the fighting leader. He is an ass-kicking, beer drinking, kiss stealing mad man of the mat. With moves like "Just Plain Steve Baby" and the "Flutie Bomb" can make your worst nightmares come true. And with his finisher "Grandmas ride on Space Mountain" will certainly spell d-e-a-t-h.

Sid6.9- DeathwishDDW- My high flyer. This man has got some serious leaping ability and is the speediest of my fighters. He has a completely new arsenal of moves, including the "Knee Caper" and the "Flying Rocker Dropper". But his finisher of the "DeathWish Wishbone" will be the doom of the Corporation.

Sid6.9- Peak Man- The biggest of any competitor. He may not have it all upstairs, but this man can brawl to no ends. With moves like "Mountain Peak Choke Slam" and the "Peaks Delight" will be all he needs to take out anyone!

Sid6.9- British- Ah yes, my best big man, he can do high flying, power moves, and just about anything else. With his moves like "Boot High Up Your Landers" and "Bloody Good Time Their Governor" will turn your bad day even worse. And his finisher is the "British Pound" and if you don’t believe that this move is devastating, just ask Kramer!

Sid6.9- And the final member of team NWD is…….Me. And what more do you need me to say.

Sid6.9- Well the competitors for this weeks Death Match is The Corporation.

Sid6.9 real quick runs down the names with no commentary about them.

Sid6.9- SM_007, Tridus, and Debt Angel.

Sid6.9- So there you have it fight fans, the stage is set, the beer is chilling, and you are going to see a party that will blow your socks off. So lets kick off the year 2000 in a big bang baby! And I literally mean Big BANG! * Starts laughing maniacally * And remember fight fans, keep one foot in the gutter and one fist up someones piehole and even you, can be on Friday Night War Room Death Match!

As the credits roll…

Announcer Dude- FNWRDM is a production of Weird Ass Sports, a subsidiary to Tridus Inc. The Inc that never runs.