Disclaimer:  This is the Monday Evening Death Match Preview Show!  This is not a popularity contest.  All contestants and participants are taken from the War Room over a disagreement, flame war, or just a plain old pig butt nasty insult throwing.  Even though the author may have an opinion about the flame war, he will not let it be known through these stories.  The winners are decided in a fair effective manner.  Some of the things said may upset some readers.  So if you have a weak heart, stomach, or head, have a seizure condition, or any other type of medical condition that may be set off by low brow humor, I suggest you stop reading now.  I will not be held responsible if you are shocked, sickened, or upset over what you read, after all I warned you.  And as a reminder, please ensure you do not try any of the moves in the story at home, as they are done by highly trained letters with years of experience.  Anyway it is just a story!  Enjoy!

 

 

 

Internet monitors across the country glow as words spread across them…

 

The following presentation is rated PG.  Includes some violence and strong language.  Parental guidance is suggested

 

 

It’s Monday Night Death Match fans, do you know what that means?

 

Well Weird Ass Sports in co-operation with Tridus Inc. sure does.  As they are proud to present to you for your viewing pleasure, the…

 

 

 

Monday Evening Death Match Preview Show!

With your host Y2T!  And also featuring Announcer Dude!

With special guest star- MysteryMan

 

And also from our home studio in Seattle WA. It is Master Sidious and Big Sexy Stefan!

 

And the screen changes to show a man sitting on a stool as the cameras swing around to show the in-house fans going ape shit.  Most of them are cheering “Dude, Dude, Dude, Dude!” as they wave their signs.  Announcer Dude walks over and greets them by slapping hands and walks back to the desk and grabs up the mic…

 

Announcer Dude- Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the wonderful Death Match Preview Showroom! * The fans cheer wildly at that * I am of course, your announcer, and everyone’s announcer, Announcer Dude!  And this is your preview of this Friday’s Death Match, it is of course…

 

And the fans take over “Monday Evening Death Match Preview Show!”

 

Announcer Dude- Yes! And of course join me in welcoming your facilitator for the Preview Show, the one and only, most exciting man in Death Match Entertainment, the man that never bores, the “Iootolah of Rock and Rolla!” He is of course…

 

But the fans are already chanting his name “Y2T, Y2T, Y2T!”

 

And Y2T emerges from behind the curtain with mic in hand, blowing kisses to the fans.  The fans go insane by this…

 

Y2T- Welcome my “Tridaholics” to another exciting edition of the Tridus Preview Hour! * The fans go nuts with cheers *

 

Y2T makes his way over to the announcing desk, shaking Announcer Dude’s hand along the way and taking his seat…

 

Y2T- All right, well, it was a intriguing week we have been seeing hasn’t it Announcer Dude?

 

AD- Umm, yeah, I feel bad though Tridus, we lost probably one of the best Referees in the world.  He was a friend of mine you know.

 

Y2T (Looks down, then back up with a solemn face)- Yes I know Dude, he was a good man, and cared deeply for these Death Matches.  I take personal blame for his untimely death at the hands of that bastard SM_007… * The fans boo immediately at the sound of his name * Yes, I know fans, but last week he was right.  * The fans stop cheering and listen * He was right with what he did.  I made the stipulation that anyone in that ring with their head lopped off was the loser.  I failed you for the first, and let me say the last, time.  I failed to say their names, cause honestly saying their names makes the vomit rise in my throat.  I’m deeply sorry to everyone out there for what had happened.

 

AD- No one blames you Tridus, it was all SM_007, he has some deal with that rRaminrodt fellow, and I know that’s why he was killed!  I know I wasn’t getting in the ring with SM_007 when I heard that.

 

Y2T- True Dude, very true.  I shall have to look into this, as being the one that they are after in the long run.  Well let’s cover what happened in the early going.

 

AD- Oh yeah, that Peak_Man and Pixie Styx match was great!  Ha, ha, Pixie Styx, that was great when you said that.

 

Y2T (Smiles)- Thanks Dude, I try to please my “Tridaholics” at every turn.

 

AD (Ripping open his shirt to reveal a Y2T T-shirt)- Well I’m a card carrying member!  Tridaholic for life I am!

 

Y2T (Looks at Dude)- Yep, that’s my new shirt folks, and for only $19.95 you can own a piece of Tridamania too.  So come on and support your Hero.  Support the man that makes boring a thing of the past.  Make a showing for who your true champion is!  * The fans go nuts with that, and start to throw money and empty the stand where the Y2T shirts were *

 

Y2T- All right, well, it is a new week, and that means more Death and Destruction Y2T style.  On Sunday the matches were already made, but we will do more in depth coverage with Sidious and Big Sexy in a little bit, but first, let’s welcome to the show, for his first. But not last appearance, a true “Tridaholic” at heart and future Death Match Superstar, his name is MysteryMan folks!  * The fans just keep cheering “Y2T, Y2T, Y2T!” even as MysteryMan walks out. *

 

MysteryMan (Shaking Tridus’s hand and eyeing the audience)- Umm, Tridus, why aren’t they saying my name yet?

 

Y2T- It’s okay M and M, they just don’t know you as of yet.  Like I said, you have to prove yourself.

 

MysteryMan shakes his head in agreement and sits next to Y2T…

 

Y2T- Okay well MysteryMan, I’m so happy you could take a moment out of your busy training regimen to come out on the show with us.

 

MM- Don’t think anything of it Tridus, I’m always glad to come out and greet my future Mystery Fans.  This week I finally get the chance to show what I’m made of, and I’m confident, no wait, I guarantee that no one will be the same again when they see me!  * The fans laugh * No, it’s true, it’s true!  I will win, and I will be your hero, you will see!

 

Y2T- Okay M and M, well I know that Flutie is going to be training your foe, and Flutie is no slouch.  Aren’t you a little over eager about it?

 

MM- Not at all, Hank is nothing but a 10 Doritos Bag chowing, Pork Rind swilling, 10 sandwich eating fat ass and I will kick the shiznit out of his ass.

 

Y2T- Well I won’t disagree with you on that.  So what is your finishing move?

 

MM- You know what it is, you helped teach it to me.

 

Y2T- Heh, heh, yes I know, but the home audience doesn’t.  Let’s tell them about it.

 

MM- Well it is known as “Mystery Meat” and when I drop this move on Big Hank, he will be done for!

 

Y2T- I don’t doubt it MysteryMan, well it looks like we need to head to Master Sidious and Big Sexy Stefan for the announcements of the fights, thank you for joining us M and M, and remember fight fans you can see MysteryMan here fight this Friday!  So show your support for my protégé as he gets in the ring for the first time!

 

MysteryMan gets up shakes Tridus’s and Announcer Dude’s hands and leaves off the stage waving to the fans as he goes.  The fans clap and cheer as he leaves yelling “ M and M”, “M and M”!

 

Y2T- Okay well let’s go ahead and kick it over to our announcing tag-team, they are of course, Master Sidious and Big Sexy Stefan!  * The crowd cheers *

 

The screen cuts in half as Sidious’s face appears on one half…

 

MS- Hey Y2T, how’s it going? 

 

Y2T- Well not bad considering what happened last week.

 

MS- Yeah, well I was meaning to talk to you about that.  I don’t think it was your fault last week.  SM_007 used a minor thing in the stipulation that he knew what you meant.  He just used that as a way to eliminate the best man in our sport, and the greatest friend we had here.  I look forward to 007 getting his, and I recommend pulling out all the stops to do it too!

 

Y2T- Point taken Sidious, and the “Iootolah of Rock and Rolla” intends on making his life hell.

 

MS- Well just watch your back though, cause I think that agent and his cronies are now after you as well.  Along with DebtAngel too.

 

Y2T- Nothing new Sidious, I’ve always been a marked man before, what makes the stakes better for me though, is that I’m a marked man with the power!

 

MS- Speaking of power, have you found a new Referee, I mean I hate to say that since Shockwave is gone, but still we need a Ref.

 

Y2T- I’m looking into a few people Sidious, I’ll get back to you in a few days with the information though.

 

MS- Okay great, good luck Y2T, and if you need my help, you got it!

 

Y2T- Thanks Sidious, I may hold you to that.

 

And the screen goes full again as Master Sidious shuffles some papers, coughs, and addresses the screen…

 

MS- Well hello again Fight Fans, I am of course you host for the Preview Show here in Seattle, I am the master of the death match chat.  I am of course Master Sidious! * The in-house fans at that show go crazy with the “Sidious” chants that Sidious can’t be heard talking * Thank you, thank you all, but of course are you ready to meet my partner for this show!?!  Yes, you know who he is fight fans, and if you don’t by now.  What rock have you been living under?  He is the “Ferret of Freakiness”, the “Snake in the Ass” and the man that knows that Friday is a good day to get your groove on!  He is of course…

 

Suddenly a bunch of MEN scream in girlish voices, “Big Sexy Stefan!  Oh come here big boy!”

 

Big Sexy Stefan (Screams)- Ahhh, what the hell!  Where are the ladies!?!

 

MS- Oh umm, well, uhh it seems the San Francisco gay boy cheerleaders decided to buy all the tickets for the preview show.

 

BSS- What the?  No ladies, oh this is not right Sidious.

 

MS- Well BS, they have the right to buy tickets just like everyone else.

 

BSS- But, but, Sidious, they’re, well you know.  (Makes a hole with one finger and sticks his other index finger through it in a back and forth motion)

 

MS- What Big Sexy, what are they?

 

BSS- They’re butt pirates!!!

 

One of the audience members (throwing a limp wrist out)- Oh you just be nice Sexy Stef!  (Puts his hand to his mouth as he giggles girlishly)

 

Another Audience Member- Oh yeah Big Sexy show me your Love Machine and I’ll show you the chocolate factory!  Mmm Hmm and Charlie was never quite the same again Mmm, hmm!

 

Third gay man- Oh yes, Hi Big Sexy, I have all of your pictures!  But I keep this one in a special place * As he pulls out a picture of Big Sexy Stefan in a Speedo from out of his pants *

 

BSS (Screams again)- Ahh they are all around me!  Sidious, get me my shotgun!

 

Ambiguous Gay Man- Oh behave, or I’ll have to spank you * As he puts a finger in his mouth *

 

BSS (To the audience)- All right you rope suckers, get this straight, Big Sexy is only down with the ladies!  I don’t wrangle no rumps, toss any salads, or rim no Mr. Brownie’s!  I’m down with the ladies, so stop your advances on me, or I’ll have to kick some serious ass!

 

MS- BS!  Calm down, it’s not like they are hurting anything by being here.

 

BSS- Yeah but they are hitting on me Sidious, I don’t swing that way!  Thank god it will only be for today!  At least this Friday things will return to normal.  Right Sidious?

 

MS- Uhh, yeah, this Friday it will return to normal, yeah, I guess.

 

BSS- Good!  Then I guess I can handle it for today.

 

MS- Umm, yeah, just for today.  Well the action last week was pretty deplorable wasn’t it Big Sexy?

 

BSS- I’ll say, we lost one of the finest Referees to ever be in the ring!

 

MS- Yeah and we also lost a dear friend.  Of course Fight Fans we are talking about Shockwave.  Fight fans, this Friday’s Death Match is dedicated in his honor.

 

BSS- I agree Sidious, Shockwave deserves it.  But those matches last week were also kicking.  I mean who would have thought that Peak_Man could out-smart Styx!

 

MS- I know what you mean Big Sexy, that was truly brilliant what Peak_Man did!  I mean I never thought Peak_Man would pull that off.

 

BSS- Hey, and that SM_007 match with Flutie wasn’t all that bad was it?  I mean of course the ending wasn’t what we wanted, but still, it was a good match.

 

MS (Shaking his head)- I don’t want to talk about either of them Big Sexy, they are pieces of trash, and I can’t wait to see Y2T get medieval on there buttocks!

 

BSS- Well, I guess I won’t argue with that.  I mean after all, Y2T is abusing his power and all.

 

MS (Getting a little miffed)- Big Sexy drop it!  Those damn nWd punks have it coming to them! 

 

BSS- Okay, okay Sidious, I just don’t like the way Y2T is going about it.  I mean it’s so unsexy, don’t you think?

 

MS- Nope, it’s not, something has to be done about them, and Y2T is the only one that can do anything about it.  I don’t really want to talk about the nWd anymore anyway, they make me sick just thinking about them.

 

BSS- Okay, sorry Sidious, you know me, I just like to get down to the nitty gritty.

 

Ambiguous Gay Man- Woo hoo, Big Sexy, I want to get down with your nitty gritty!

 

Big Sexy (Screams)- Ahhh Sidious, make them stop!  They are all staring at me again!  And make that one put his pants back on, noooooo I’ve just gone blind, noooooo!

 

MS (On the house mic)- Okay gentleman, leave Big Sexy alone, he has no interest in you.  And sir, please refrain from removing your pants again, this is a family show.

 

The audience says sorry as Sidious continues…

 

MS- Okay, well now that the audience is back in check, let’s talk about the matches this week shall we Big Sexy?

 

BSS- Umm, yeah, let’s do it!

 

MS- Okay well, in our first match up of the night, we are going to see a re-match of a Death Match that really did not take place…

 

BSS- Umm, if it didn’t really take place Sidious, then how can this be a re-match?

 

MS- Well the match took place, but no one saw it.

 

BSS (Scratching his head)- Ehh, but if no one saw it, then there wasn’t a match then.

 

MS- Well see, they had a match themselves, but no one saw it, so it didn’t really count.  But in all fairness, they did fight in the ring, even though no one saw it, making it a re-match.  Understand?

 

BSS- Umm Sidious, I will trust you on this one, I don’t know if it’s true and now I don’t care, let’s just give them the fighters and move on, okay.

 

MS- Heh, heh, okay BS, well this first fighter is from the hills of Arkansas, and is a relative of the fighter known as Flutie from the nWd…

 

BSS- Wow, where have they been hiding that guy?  I never knew Flutie had a relative here.

 

MS- Umm, yeah, he is the guy that empties your waste paper can everyday.

 

BSS- Hank?!?  Hank is Flutie’s cousin?  I don’t like this Sidious.  I mean that guy is fat.

 

MS- Yeah true, he is big, but he is a relative of Flutie so he probably should be able to fight.  (Turns back to the camera) Yes fight fans, he is the fighter known as Big Tank Hank!  This fighter while extremely fat, does have a very good power advantage!  This man has been training with Flutie all week and with a move like the “Mr. Hanky Tank Drop” can flatten his opponents in a heartbeat.  But his finisher in the “Trashed Man Ass Drop” will leave his opponents flattened for real…

 

BSS- Sidious, this guy shouldn’t even be in the ring.  He is not what Death Match material is all about.

 

MS- Well we will see this Friday Big Sexy, and besides he was juiced in by Flutie. Let’s take a look at the Tale of the Tape for Hank!

 

Tale of the Tape----------------------------------Hank

Ø                  Height----------------------------------  6’4”

Ø                  Weight---------------------------------  500

Ø                  Reach----------------------------------   35”

Ø                  Arms-----------------------------------   20”

Ø                  Forearms------------------------------   13”

Ø                  Fist-------------------------------------   10 ½”

 

Extended Tale of the Tape----------------------Hank

Ø                  Strength-------------------------------   8

Ø                  Speed----------------------------------   2

Ø                  Endurance-----------------------------   5

Ø                  Stamina--------------------------------   3

Ø                  Vision----------------------------------   4

 

Ø                  Ability to Strike Opponents-----------------  49%

Ø                  Ability to Defend Strikes--------------------  32%

Ø                  Ability to Perform Power Moves-----------   67%

Ø                  Ability to Absorb Power Moves------------   96%- Fat does have it’s privileges

 

 

BSS- Juiced in?!?  Jesus Sidious, I think someone squeezed his fat ass in.  Now he is not a worthy Death Match participant Sidious, why is he here again?

 

MS- You want me to talk about the reason they are having a re-match again?

 

BSS (Remembers the previous conversation)- Oh yeah, nevermind.

 

MS- Heh, heh, I thought so, well then, tell the fight fans about his opponent!

 

BSS- Okay well, this fighter did not have a home for quite some time, in fact we hear he slept under the bleachers here in the arena.  Then a man that everyone knows in Y2T found him.  Ever since then, this scrappy fighter has been training with Y2T and know, he is going to get the chance to get even with Hank for treating him so bad.  He is of course, the man known to be a Mystery, he is MysteryMan!  Now this fighter is quick and has Y2T as a training model to take after.  But this man, like Y2T, is not tall, in fact he is only 3 inches taller than Y2T, which can hurt him against big foes much like Hank.  But with a move like the “Desperation’s Elbow” can certainly set up this mans finisher in “Mystery Meat”.  And believe me that move has us all, well, mystified.

 

MS- Well that move certainly has me intrigued.  Let’s see how MysteryMan stacks up in the Tale of the Tape.

 

Tale of the Tape-----------------------------MysteryMan

Ø                  Height-----------------------------   5’8”

Ø                  Weight----------------------------   195

Ø                  Reach-----------------------------    26”

Ø                  Arms-------------------------------   16 ¾”

Ø                  Forearms--------------------------   10”

Ø                  Fist---------------------------------    8”

 

Extended Tale of the Tape-----------------MysteryMan

Ø                  Strength---------------------------    4

Ø                  Speed------------------------------    8

Ø                  Endurance-------------------------    7

Ø                  Stamina----------------------------    5

Ø                  Vision-------------------------------   7

 

Ø                  Ability to Strike Opponents------------------    68%

Ø                  Ability to Defend Strikes---------------------    75%

Ø                  Ability to Perform Power Moves------------    48%

Ø                  Ability to Absorb Power Moves--------------    36%

 

BSS- Well MysteryMan looks like he might be a competitor.  But he is still green and with the opposition being the size he is, it might be his only appearance.

 

MS- Yep, MysteryMan vs. Hank, isn’t going to break any Death Match records, but I still think it may be a fun match to watch.

 

BSS- I don’t see how Sidious.

 

MS- Well, let’s move on to the main event match.  Now this match was set-up from this last Sunday, where two forumers tried to have their own Death Match much the way MysteryMan and Hank did…

 

BSS- Oh I see Sidious, so MysteryMan and Hank fought in the ring when no one was around?

 

MS- Yes, that’s what I said earlier.

 

BSS- Well maybe if you said it sexier I would understand.

 

MS (Looking at Big Sexy with an eyebrow raised)- I’m sorry Sidious, maybe I should get your friends over there to explain it to you, sexier of course.

 

BSS (Lifts his hands up)- No, no, we don’t need to do that!

 

MS- Okay then let’s cover our main event match of Friday Night.

 

BSS- Yes, let’s.

 

MS- Okay well these guys went at it several months ago when one of them decided to post a cool and uncool list on the forums.  Well his competitor was one put on the uncool list, and he felt that was uncool.  In fact this man was on the uncool list with our promoter Sid6.9.  Sid felt is was uncool to have a cool/uncool list and wanted on the uncool list.  So here we are, they are at it again and we are going to showcase this match-up on Friday!  Big Sexy, tell the fight fans about our first competitor!

 

BSS- Okay Sidious, well this first man hails from the land of hell fire and brimstone.  He is a walking nightmare denouncing people as cool or uncool.  And believe me, you don’t want to be caught in his uncool list, oh man this will go bad for you.  Anyway this fighter is known as the HELLTROOPER V2.0.  Why the Version 2.0 you ask?  Well 1.0 wasn’t good enough so this man from hell’s kitchen upgraded himself!  This man is large folks, in fact he is almost as big as Lord DebtAngel, and only Peak_Man is taller then him.  This man has some serious moves too, and we here that he likes to toy with his opponents.  Which could be a disadvantage, especially if they are good fighters.  This man employees moves such as the “Uncool Chokeslam”!  But this man’s finisher in the “Devil’s Advocate” is one that you all will not believe!  We hear it’s a tombstone piledriver from the top rope!  A move no one has ever done or seen.

 

MS- Oh my Big Sexy he does sound scary, I sure hope I’m on the cool list!

 

BSS- Umm, at last check you are Sidious, and I am too, but then of course Sexy has got to be cool. 

 

MS- Okay well, let’s see the Tale of the Tape for HELLTROOPER V2.0

 

Tale of the Tape-------------------------------------HELLTROOPER V2.0

Ø                  Height-------------------------------------     6’ 7”

Ø                  Weight------------------------------------     326

Ø                  Reach-------------------------------------     40 ¼”

Ø                  Arms---------------------------------------     23”

Ø                  Forearms----------------------------------     13 ¾”

Ø                  Fist-----------------------------------------     11”

 

Extended Tale of the Tape-------------------------HELLTROOPER V2.0

Ø                  Strength----------------------------------       8

Ø                  Speed-------------------------------------       4

Ø                  Endurance--------------------------------      5

Ø                  Stamina-----------------------------------      6

Ø                  Vision--------------------------------------      4

 

Ø                  Ability to Strike Opponents-------------------------   46%

Ø                  Ability to Defend Strikes----------------------------    58%

Ø                  Ability to Perform Power Moves-------------------    80%

Ø                  Ability to Absorb Power Moves--------------------    72%

 

 

BSS- I like him Sidious, I think this guy is definite Death Match Superstar, I mean it’s written all over him!

 

MS- Don’t be so quick there Big Sexy, we still have to cover his opponent, and let’s do that now.  This man is from parts unknown…

 

BSS- Oooooo a MysteryMan!

 

MS_ No Sexy, we already have a MysteryMan, this man just won’t tell us where he is from.

 

BSS- Oh okay, so he is from a MysteryPlace?

 

MS- Umm, yeah, MysteryPlace, sure.  Anyway, this fighter is one that goes by the motto of, “Live and let live, and if it don’t like it, Kill it!”

 

BSS- Ehh, okay.

 

MS- Stop interrupting me Big Sexy.  Okay well, this man is known as Xel~Naga…

 

BSS- Xel who?

 

MS- Xel~Naga.

 

BSS- Xel uhh, uhh, how do I say that ~ thing?

 

MS- You just said it Big Sexy.

 

BSS- Said what?

 

MS- That part of Xel~Naga’s name.

 

BSS- You yeah, so how do I say it again?

 

MS- Ugh, nevermind just call him something else.

 

BSS- Okay, I think I will.

 

MS- Anyway Xel~Naga has been coming to these death matches for quite sometime know and has been dying to get HELLTROOPER V2.0 into the ring, well he gets his chance this Friday!  Xel~Naga is one competitor that most stay away from, that’s why we haven’t seen him yet.  While this competitor seems average in most aspects, the rumors about him is that he is blindingly fast, and can likes to take to the air…

 

BSS- Cool!  I love the aerial fighters, they make the Death Matches that much more interesting!

 

MS- Heh, heh, I know Big Sexy, now shut up and let me finish!

 

BSS- I’m sorry Sidious, but those guys are making me nervous.  They keep looking at me………..and why are they licking their lips at me?  Damn it Sidious, finish this damn show!

 

MS- I will it you let me!  Anyway this fighter is an aerial attacker that is looking to drop some bombs on HELLTROOPER V2.0.  This man has one distinct problem though.

 

BSS- Does he have a bunch of gay men staring at him too?!?

 

MS (Looking at Big Sexy)- What?  No, this fighter has a problem with taking one too many risks when battling.  And against HELLTROOPER V2.0 he needs to lay off the risk taking.  So this man will be using some moves that are simply breathtaking, like the “Downward Fall”.  But this mans finisher in “Misfortunes Launching” will leave you will unfortunately dead.

 

BSS- Okay well that was interesting let’s get to the Tale of the Tape!

 

MS- What’s the hurry BS?

 

BSS- Dang it Sidious, I can’t go without seeing women, and I’m scared if they touch me that I will turn into one of them!

 

MS- One of them?  What do you mean?

 

BSS- You know.

 

MS- No, what do you mean if they touch you will turn into one of them.

 

BSS- You know, * Whispers * a guy that likes to you know, Humpalotamen!

 

MS (Loudly)- Humpalotamen!  Oh lord, that sounds serious!  You want to turn into one of those Big Sexy!?!

 

All the men in the audience perk up and smile at Big Sexy!

 

BSS (Screams)- Ahhh no Sidious I’m a Doalotawomen, Doalotawomen!  I’m not a Humpalotamen, no!  * As Big Sexy screams and runs from the room with the gay men in close pursuit shooting “Come on ride the train, choo, choo and ride it!  Come on ride the train, choo, choo and ride it!” *

 

MS- Heh, heh, well looks like Big Sexy made an early exit folks.  Well let’s look at the Tale of the Tape for Xel~Naga!

 

Tale of the Tape-----------------------------------Xel~Naga

Ø                  Height-----------------------------------   6’1”

Ø                  Weight----------------------------------   185

Ø                  Reach-----------------------------------    34”

Ø                  Arms-------------------------------------   15”

Ø                  Forearms--------------------------------    9 ¾”

Ø                  Fist---------------------------------------   10”

 

Extended Tale of the Tape-----------------------Xel~Naga

Ø                  Strength---------------------------------    4

Ø                  Speed------------------------------------    9

Ø                  Endurance-------------------------------    6

Ø                  Stamina----------------------------------    5

Ø                  Vision-------------------------------------    6

 

Ø                  Ability to Strike Opponents------------------   86%

Ø                  Ability to Defend Strikes---------------------    62%

Ø                  Ability to Perform Power Moves------------    34%

Ø                  Ability to Absorb Power Moves--------------   52%

 

MS- Well join us this Friday Fight Fans and tune in for some Death and Destruction, Death Match Style! Let’s kick it back to Y2T in the studio…

 

Y2T- Okay thanks Sidious, and hopefully Big Sexy will be able to get away from those overzealous male fans of his, heh, heh.  Anyway Fight Fans, there you have it.  Big Tank Hank vs. MysteryMan, and in the main event it will be HELLTROOPER V2.0 vs. Xel~Naga!  So get ready for some death this Friday folks cause we are spooning you two matches of mayhem.  And remember folks, it you want in the death matches!  Smack someone upside the head, but until then, keep watching. 

 

As the credits roll…

 

Announcer Dude- FNWRDM is brought to you in part by Weird Ass Sports, a subsidiary to Tridus Inc.  The Inc. that never dries!

 

©FNWRDM™ Friday Night War Room Death Match™ is the sole property of Sid6.9 Enterprises and some guy named Marc Angle.. Any and all rebroadcasts are strictly prohibited without prior written consent from Sid6.9 Enterprises