by Big Sexy Stefan
Big Sexy Stefan is sitting inside of his van, with his legs hanging out of the side door. His thoughts keep returning to that day. The day the arena was destroyed. This van being his location during those events, causing the painful memories to return. So many friends lost and hurt, and even people that weren't especially cared for, like Beavis and Butthead.
An unknown man with his face hidden approaches.
Unknown man: You know they aren't gone, don't you?
Big Sexy Stefan quickly composes himself, as to not allow the stranger see the state he was in.
Big Sexy Stefan: Who, who isn't gone?
Unknown man: Beavis and Butthead. They are still alive.
Big Sexy Stefan: But-
Unknown man interrupts: -but nothing, they are still alive. Sid6.9 just wanted them out of the Death Matches since they learned about a bit of information that Sid6.9 didn't want revealed.
Big Sexy Stefan: Learned something, what's that?...
Unknown man: Nevermind that. You'll learn that when the time comes. As of yet, you can still save these two, if you act quickly enough.
Big Sexy Stefan: Why should I trust you? You won't even reveal your identity to me!
Unknown man: I have motives that serve me, though we share a common interest, getting Beavis and Butthead back into the public.
Big Sexy Stefan: True, the Death Matches just weren't the same without them opening it with Master Sidious and me.
Unknown man: Excellent, then I trust that I can confide in you my information?
Big Sexy Stefan: Go for it big guy!
Unknown man: Something that may surprise you, is that Beavis and Butthead are still in the Death Match arena!
Big Sexy Stefan gives a blank stare, thinking to himself that the arena was destroyed.
Unknown man: Ahh, I see Sid6.9 never told you about the sub-basement to the arena, did he?
Big Sexy Stefan: ...
Unknown man: As I thought, he kept that information to himself. As for how I found it... there are quite a few things about Sid6.9 that I know... *clears throat* ...anyway, Beavis and Butthead were being kept captive in the sub-basement to the Death Match arena, and are likely still there. If you want to save them, I suggest that you begin as quickly as possible.
Big Sexy Stefan: You know as well as I do that I'm not up to anything like that alone. Even I'm not strong enough to do work like that!
Unknown man: Yes... then you will have to choose someone strong to help you, perhaps a Death Match contestant.
Big Sexy Stefan: I think I know just the guy...
Big Sexy Stefan gets out his cell phone, and has a quiet conversation. Meanwhile, the Unknown man is quietly laughing in the background.
Big Sexy Stefan: It's settled then, Tridus will be here shortly!
Unknown man: *gasp* ...Tridus? That's... wonderful!
The Unknown man begins thinking to himself. Thoughts are quickly running through his mind. It was almost a given that Big Sexy would have chosen SM_007, since they know each other outside of the Death Matches... having Tridus involved could ruin my plans...
Big Sexy Stefan snaps his fingers
Big Sexy Stefan: Hey man, you there? *waves a hand in front of the Unknown man's face*
Unknown man: Sorry I was thinking about... my grocery list!
Big Sexy Stefan: *chuckle* suuuuuure you were.. *wink*
Unknown man: Stop that, don't wink at me!
Big Sexy Stefan: *wink*
Unknown man: Stop it!
Big Sexy Stefan: *wink*
Unknown man: STOP IT!!!
Big Sexy Stefan: Wow, if it wasn't for that mildly man-like voice of yours, I'd guess you to be a woman. Unless you are... does "PMS" ring a bell?
Unknown man: Don't tempt me to ring your bell...
Big Sexy Stefan: You can ring my bell anytime sexy!
Unknown man: Shouldn't you be off saving Beavis and Butthead?
Big Sexy Stefan: Oh yeah.. I guess people would get annoyed at us flirting like this for so long.
Unknown man: It's NOT flirting!
Big Sexy Stefan: Hey, whatever floats your boat... chill.
Approximately half an hour passes, and Big Sexy Stefan is again sitting in his van. He turns to face into the van, when he is suddenly kicked into the van, and the door closes behind him.
Tridus: You wanted me?
Big Sexy Stefan: Hey... that's not what I was meaning when I talked to you on the phone.
Tridus: Allow me to rephrase myself: You required my services?
Big Sexy Stefan: Yeah, but kicking me in the ass into my van isn't the best way to say hello!
Tridus: Hey, I had to make an entrance, didn't I?
Big Sexy Stefan: ... anyways, let's talk over lunch, my treat.
Tridus thinks to himself: His treat? I've always paid... this could be a sign of change for the
better.
Big Sexy Stefan pulls into the Taco Bell parking lot
Tridus thinks to himself: Maybe I was wrong about that...
The two walk into the Taco Bell, and make their orders. Big Sexy Stefan updates Tridus on the situation while the orders are being processed. The taco dog appears out of nowhere, and approaches the forumers.
Taco Dog: Yo quiero Beavis and Butthead!
Big Sexy Stefan: He knows too much, he must die!
Tridus: I know, I'll do the Trident Spear on him!
Taco Dog: Goooey!
Big Sexy Stefan steps on the Taco Dog, effectively cursing him.
Big Sexy Stefan: Not 'that' is gooey! *turns to Tridus* You were saying?
Tridus: Ugg, I think I lost my appetite.
Big Sexy Stefan: If you're not going to eat that... *grabs Tridus' food*
After the two finish eating, well actually after Big Sexy eats his and Tridus' food, they return to Big Sexy's van, and take off for the Death Match Forum.
Tridus: Big Sexy, I think you're running low on gas...
Big Sexy Stefan: After all those tacos? I think not...
Tridus points to the gas gauge
Big Sexy Stefan: Ohhhh, that one *snicker*
Tridus' expression doesn't change.
Big Sexy Stefan: Chill, that thing broke a long time ago. The only was to measure the gas is to take off the cap and take a big whiff.
Tridus: I'm sure it is...
They finally approach the Death Match arena, or at least what's left of it.
Tridus: Here we go, lets get to moving these larger pieces first, then the smaller ones.
The two work late into the night to remove the debris that was covering the entrance to the stairs that lead to the sub-basement. After clearing it, they descend the stairs, and are almost to the bottom.
Big Sexy Stefan: What do you think we'll find down here?
The two hear Beavis and Butthead talking around the corner.
Beavis: Heh heh, I didn't know it could get that long!
Butthead: Huh huh, yeah, long!
Tridus: Do we really have to go through with this? We may be better off leaving them here...
Big Sexy Stefan: That Unknown man said that they were key to finding out something about Sid6.9...
Tridus' eyes light up: *whispers* Ahh yes... Sid6.9...
Big Sexy Stefan: What was that?
Tridus: Ahh, nothing.
Beavis: Hey, you're that sexy guy, right?
Butthead: Huh huh, you said sexy.
Big Sexy Stefan: Yeah, this is Big Sexy. An Unknown man told me I could find you here.
Beavis: Heh heh, that buttwipe!
Tridus: You know him?
Butthead: He took our porno away!
Big Sexy Stefan: ... you mean he's been down here before?
Butthead: Huh huh, yeah. He told us to call him Unknown man too. What an assmunch.
In the distance, a door slams.
Big Sexy Stefan and Tridus rush to the exit, while Beavis and Butthead debate over how long the tape measure is. (What did you think I was talking about earlier? Also, this tape measure has the length marked on it.)
Big Sexy Stefan: ... who's there?
Unknown man: Me! Though you may also know my by another name... Peter!
Big Sexy Stefan: Peter! You son of a bitch!
Peter: Sadly yes, my mother was of canine ancestry... was that outloud?
Tridus: HAHA, yes!
Big Sexy Stefan: So, uhh, what do you want from us? You are aware that we could easily break down this door, aren't you?
Peter: I trust, as an evil genius *pinky to lip* that you won't break loose, no matter how feeble your entrapment is.
Big Sexy Stefan: You do realize that you aren't Dr. Evil, don't you?
Peter starts to cry: I try soo hard, throw me a fricken bone here!
Tridus: That wasn't funny either...
Peter: I'm going to leave you in here and return to my secret base which is conveniently located in the red Dodge Ram in the parking lot.
Tridus: *Quiet snicker*
Footsteps are heard walking away from the door, and fade into the distance.
Tridus kicks down the door, meanwhile Big Sexy Stefan is busy unwrapping Beavis and Butthead from inside of the tape measure, which they managed to bind themselves inside of.
The four move out into the parking lot, and move towards the red Dodge Ram. Beavis and Butthead are told to go home, though neither Big Sexy nor Tridus really care as long as they are gone. At this point they are very confident that Beavis and Butthead were just pawns in Peter's game.
Tridus: What now?
RStefan01: How about we drag him out and kick his ass?
Tridus: I thought you were Big Sexy...
Big Sexy Stefan: I guess the author wrote the wrong name down...
Tridus: Ok, anyways... dragging him out and kicking his ass would be too easy. What would Tom Sawyer do? He wouldn't drag Peter out and kick his ass, he'd make it all fancy and such.
Big Sexy Stefan: What the hell are you smoking?
Peter: You guys know that I can hear you, don't you?
Big Sexy Stefan and Tridus notice that the windows are rolled down.
Big Sexy Stefan: Uhh, well, I guess we're going to kick your ass now then!
Peter: Eep.
Big Sexy Stefan and Tridus commence kicking Peter's ass, while Sid6.9 is seen slouched down in an old run down car which is unidentifiable, besides being puke green. A smile spreads across Sid6.9's face.
Sid6.9 thinks to himself: Ahh, everything is working out as planned...
Peter is left unconscious on the pavement. Big Sexy Stefan and Tridus look around to see if anyone saw what happened.
Big Sexy Stefan: Hey, isn't that Sid6.9 over there?
Sid6.9: Doh! *slouches down more*
Tridus: Ahh, Sidister, we already saw you.
Sid6.9: No you didn't.
Big Sexy Stefan opens the car door, and Sid6.9 almost falls to the ground, but is promptly caught by the back of his jacket by Tridus, and pulled to his feet.
Big Sexy Stefan: Soo... hiya boss.
Sid6.9: Hey Big Sexy!
Sid6.9 and Tridus don't exchange any words up to this point, nor do they seem willing to.
Big Sexy Stefan: So, the bad guy was caught, and everyone seems to be safe, even Beavis and Butthead! What now?
Sid6.9: Patience Big Sexy, Patience.
Big Sexy Stefan: Soo, anyways, what's this deal with Peter always being able to fool us like this?
Sid6.9: I don't know, perhaps you are a bit too gullible. First he poses as the Mysterious Cloaked Man, and now the Unknown man... who knows what could be next.
Big Sexy Stefan: Well, we did just kick his ass over there. *glances at where Peter was*
Sid6.9: Muahaha
Sid6.9 removes a mask, revealing the face of Peter!
Big Sexy Stefan: Sorry Peter, you didn't get us this time.
Peter: Huh? *starts his engine*
Big Sexy Stefan: Go for it big guy, you don't have any tires!
Peter: Wtf?
Tridus: Didn't you notice that I wasn't here? We aren't as dumb as you look you know.
Big Sexy Stefan and Tridus drag the real Peter out of his car, and beat him severely.
Peter: *choke* *gasp* I want to ask you *gasp* one question. If you knew this was me, then who was the other guy that you beat up?
Sid6.9: Ahh, that would be me! Thank God for all that foam padding, it literally saved my ass.
Peter collapses, and is put into the bed of the red Dodge Ram, Sid6.9's truck.
Sid6.9: It will take time to rebuild all that was lost here, but one day the War Room will once again see Death Matches.
Big Sexy Stefan: I'll drink to that!
Tridus: Oh Big Sexy, you'll drink to anything, won't you?
Everyone laughs, including Peter, though he doesn't know what he's laughing at.
THE END