**************************************KABOOM**************************************

Fireworks shoot off, the crowd comes to its feet cheering uncontrollable. The song "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit can be heard over the house speakers. The fans wave their homemade signs and shout unintelligible words as the cameras pass by them. The cameras settle in on a raised platform where 2 figures take their seats. The camera pans up at them…

Master Sidious: Welcome fight fans! * Mighty cheers are thrown out from the fans * My name is Master Sidious your master of the death match chat, and joining me is the "master of mayhem", the "stone cold announcer", the man that hates all bunny rabbits, Big Sexy Rstefan01.

Big Sexy Stefan stands and waves at the crowd. *All the ladies scream,"go sexy, go sexy, it’s your party, go big sexy." *

Big Sexy Stefan: That’s right fans, I am Big Sexy Stefan the human love machine!

MS and BSS: And welcome to the Friday Night War Room Death Match! * The fans go absolutely insane, and even one guy takes off his pants *

MS: Well fight fans we have got one helluva a show for you all tonight. Big Sexy tell the fans what they will be seeing tonight.

BSS: That’s right Sidious, we have Edge(Limited Time Only) going against his biggest archival Masta Fujji. In what can only be described as going to be one hell of a grudge match.

MS: That’s pretty accurate, these guys have been flaming each other back and forth for quite some time now. It’s been long overdue, but we now will see them get it on, man to man, in the death match ring.

BSS: By the way fight fans this segment is brought to you by Preparation H-H. When those annoying hemorrhoids are flaming up on you, just apply a little H-H and it’ll annoy them right back.

MS: Let’s tell the fight fans a little bit about each fighter.

BSS: All right Sidious, Edge(Limited Time Only) is one fighter that most don’t like to go against. This man has power moves that would make Arnold Schwarzenegger go "Damn". His signature "Tickle Me Elmo Death Drop" is certainly a setup for his finisher "The Anus Pull from Hell".

MS: Okay, Big Sexy, the fighter Edge will be facing is none other than Masta Fujji. This Gangbanger from Harlem has got the mad skillz. His signature "Baseball Bat Forearm" is one devastating weapon. He uses that to beat your silly sad ass to the ground where he will employ the "Mudhole Stomping Feet of Fury". His finisher is one of the most feared in our sport, "The Harlem Nights Drive-By".

A little girl comes strolling by asking people if they seen her cat.

BSS: Hey Sidious we are just getting word that Mother Love is with our first fighter Edge!

MS: Well lets get to her to see what Edge has to say.

Mother Love: Thanks guys, and may I say, you look wonderful tonight Big Sexy. How about me and you later tonight. * Sticks here finger inside of her mouth *

BSS: Umm, don’t think so, I’ve got umm other plans or something.

MS: (to BSS quietly) What’s wrong old buddy.

BSS: (To MS) Oh give me a break she’s over 500 LBS. I’d have to slap the thigh and ride the wave in if I want to have sex with her.

Mother Love: (To Edge) So Edge, tonight you face your arch nemesis Masta Fujji. Any thoughts on how the fight is going to go.

Edge is standing there stroking a longhaired white Polynesian Cat, and I’d say the cat is enjoying it.

Edge: You’re damn right I got some thoughts. Masta Fujji isn’t anything but a punk! Tonight he won’t be leaving that ring alive!

Mother Love: I feel some repressed anger there Edge. I don’t think Masta Fujji will feel that way.

Edge: Well to put it bluntly, Masta Fujji will be wearing my size 10 shoe up his ARSE! How do you think he will feel then?!?!?

Mother Love: Not very well I’d think. Well back to you guys.

Master Sidious and Big Sexy Stefan are watching the preliminary bout featuring a 4-corner monkey match.

MS: Oh man, and I thought Gretrude the Gorilla had it all wrapped up.

BSS: Yep but Booboo the killer chimp pulled it out with a well-preformed "Monkey Flip of Devastation".

MS: Coincidentally fight fans, that preliminary bout was brought to from our friends at Monkeys on Steroids.

BSS: This segment is brought to you from the good people at Spam. If someone sends you some Spam, just turn up the heat, and flame that Spam until it is fried up good. Yummmm fried Spam.

MS: Well fans it is almost time for the main event, but first I hear that Mother Love is now with Masta Fujji. Let’s go back to her for some commentary.

Mother Love (with Masta Fujji): So Fujji, your competitor Edge had some very disparaging remarks for you. Any reply?

Masta Fujji(from behind a partition hiding himself): Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, was up! I just want to give a shout out to my homies in the hood, who are kicking back with their forties about ready to see me put a cap in the a$$ of that foo Edge.

Mother Love: Okay Fujji, but why are you behind a partition?

Masta Fujji: Because my sista, if the ladies see my beautiful buff bode, I’ll never make it out of this dressing room. And I gots my business I gotsta handlez first. Edge you sissy little white boy, you beta call your mama foo, cause it’ll be the last time you talk to her.

Mother Love: Well okay, I think that just about covers it. Back to you guys.

Big Sexy Stefan: Wow Sidious these 2 fighters are primed and ready to go.

Master Sidious: You’re right about that BS, how do you see this fight going down.

BSS: Well if Edge is going to have a chance, he needs to finish this early. If he lets Masta Fujji have any chance to retaliate, then it may be a long night for Edge. Masta Fujji on the other hand needs to use his speed to his advantage. Work in and work out all night on Edge. If he goes head on with the powerhouse, then the night will be very short.

MS: Okay Big Sexy, I see our first competitor is making his way to the ring.

Just then the little girl looking for her cat shows up by the announcers.

Little Girl: Excuse me Mister. Have you seen my kitty, Miss Giggles? She is lost somewhere.

MS: What the… hey get this kid out of here. We don’t know where your cat is.

Kid Rock’s "Bawitdaba" is cranking out as Edge makes his way to the ring. * Fans cheer wildly for him and women throw him their panties *

BSS: I also see our resident referee Shockwave is in the ring as well.

MS: Oh yeah, for fight fans out there, Shockwave is one hell of a ref that doesn’t put up with any funny stuff.

BSS: And here comes the long awaited arrival of Masta Fujji!

Snoop Dogs ‘murder was the case that they gave me" cranks out as Masta Fujji walks in to the arena.

BSS: Who the heck is that * pointing towards Masta Fujji *

A really skinny, short black kid with wire-rim glasses comes walking out.

MS: Yeah I thought he said he had a buff bode. He looks more like a string bean with glasses.

BSS: Yeah it looks more like Urekel vs Edge, than Masta Fujji. I bet he could hola-hoop through a Cheerio.

As both fighters enter the ring, the announcer does the pre-match announcements.

Hitokiri Battousai: Heelloooo ardeginous Fight Fans! Welcome to perpetuate your sphincter holes upon my discrebulous rantings. Budweiser is immolating their prostates towards this eventoutor of a battle. Your Referee for this crapulent of a feces is the judge, Shockwave. * Shockwave taps his chin twice with his foot and points at some women wearing no clothes on *. In this corner we got Edge, the mastodon of virtue to extrapolate his well-rounded buttocks upon his opponent. And is this corner we have Masta Fujji, the man who rescumates his unerring of a banter, to re-etirate an beat down on his opponent.

With that the announcer leaves, leaving Shockwave to give instructions to the competitors.

Shockwave: All right gentleman, I gave you your instructions in the dressing rooms. I want a good clean fight, I wanna see some skin flying off at all times, obey my instructions as if I’m god almighty, and can someone tell me what is causing this rash?

And with that the bell sounds, sending the competitors at one another.

MS: All right fight fans the battle is underway.

BSS: It looks like Masta Fujji didn’t hear my comments before cause he is going straight at Edge!

Edge throws 2 mean punches at Masta Fujji who ducks them and connects with a groin shot with his right knee.

MS: Oh ho, that’s gotta hurt the little misses back home.

With Edge on the mat, Masta Fujji proceeds to club him with his "baseball bate forearm". And man is he cranking on him hard.

BSS: The "baseball bat forearms", it looks like Edge may be in trouble.

MS: I don’t think so Big Sexy, look!

Just as Masta Fujji is about to jump on Edge, he kicks a foot out sending him half way across the ring.

Both Edge and Masta Fujji get up and…

Masta Fujji: Oh hey Edge, I brought a little something with me. * And with that he pulls out some cards *

Edge: Oh god no, you’re a "superfriend" aren’t you.

Masta Fujji: Here meet the Ogre.

And with that he throws the card at Edge catching him on the shoulder, cutting off a 6-inch piece.

MS: Oh that isn’t fair. We had no idea he was a "superfriend".

Shockwave takes a look at Edges shoulder, then back at Masta Fujji and says.

SW: I’ll allow it!

Masta Fujji: Here’s the Orc.

Flings the card catching Edge in the thigh. The card just sticks there and blood flies everywhere.

Masta Fujji: And finally here’s Bob from Accounting.

He flings the card and it sticks in Edge’s forehead. Edge falls face first to the mat.

BSS: Oh no Sidious, it looks like Edge is in serious trouble.

MS: I should say so, it appears that Masta Fujji is attempting his finisher.

Masta Fujji (grabs both of Edges legs and looks out into the audience): This is for all my homies back in da hood playing dungeons and dragons and drinking their Kool-Aid.

He proceeds to twist his legs and grab one arm, he stretches Edges legs out fully, almost into a split.

MS: It looks like Edge is going to be split in half. The match is virtually over now.

Just then the white Polynesian cat jumps into the ring and over by Edges free arm. He grabs the cat by the tail and flings it into Masta Fujjis face.

BSS: Oh he just clobbered him with that pussycat.

MS: Yeah I guess you could say that is the very first pu--y Masta Fujji has ever had.

Both announcers get a good laugh.

Edge walks over to his dazed and confused opponent and starts smacking him left and right. He grabs Masta Fujji by the sides and starts to tickle him relentlessly, then suddenly picks him up and with a swift move, slams him head first into the mat.

MS: (slamming his fist on the desk) Tickle Me Elmo Death Drop, Tickle Me Elmo Death Drop!!!!!

BSS: That’s right, he used his setup, just can he finish him now.

Edge picks up his nearly unconscious foe and rams one fist down Masta Fujjis throat.

Edge:(with evil intent in his voice) Hey Fujji, every wonder what your bunghole tastes like?

Masta Fujji: (With eyes wide open) Mfffflfffflffflll!!!!

And with one quick pull, pulls Masta Fujjis anus up into his throat.

MS: Oh he did it, it’s the Anus Pull from Hell! I’d say this fight is over.

BSS: Yep I guess Masta Fujji can’t say he doesn’t talk crap anymore. Heh heh.

BSS: When he wakes up in the morning he is going to have butt breath. Ha ha ha ha.

BSS: When he…

MS: Okay enough Big Sexy.

BSS: Oh sorry sometimes I get carried away.

Shockwave (to Masta Fujji): Speak to me son! Can you go on?

Masta Fujji: ………………

Shockwave (raises Edges hand): And your winner is Edge (Limited Time Only)!

The fans cheer uncontrollably, as all the ladies rush the ring.

MS: Well fight fans that one is now in the record books, we had a great match, watch for next week as another 2 forumers will get it on in our death match ring. But until then, I’m Master Sidious.

BSS: And I’m Big Sexy Rstefan01 the human love machine, saying.

MS and BSS: Good Fight, Good Night!