Disclaimer This is the Friday Night Death Matches. It is not a popularity contest. All contestants are taken from the War Room, over a flame war, disagreement, or pig butt nasty insult throwing. While the author may have an opinion about the flame war, he will not let it be known through these stories. These stories are not to be taken seriously, it is fictional. All people should be reminded to not try any of these stunts at home, due to the fact that they are made up. Anyways it is just a story.

KABOOM, SCREEEEEECCCCCHHHHHH, as fireworks go off and rockets shoot through the air! The music of Lenny Kravitis "Fly Away" can be heard blaring from the house speakers! The fans, already on their feet, wave homemade signs, some reading; "Flutie 316 is god", "The MCM is my Dad", "E-MONEY is already dead through AOL", and "Master Sidious Stole my Shoes." They scream into the cameras as the pass them by. The cameras pan up on a raised platform where 2 darkened figures take their seats there&

Master Sidious- Welcome fight fans * The fans scream wildly *, I am Master Sidious, your host of the Death Match! Joining me as always is the "Master of Bates", the "Death to my Match" and the man that put the smack down on three orangutans that looked at him crossed eyed! Big Sexy Stefan!

Big Sexy Stefan- That s right death match fanatics, I m Big Sexy Stefan the Human Love Machine * All the ladies scream *, ahhh hold on to that there ladies cause Big Sexy has got his rocket in his pocket, and it s ready to blast off baby, yeah! But until then this is

Both Together- The Firday Night War Room Death Match!

MS- Well, well, what a death match we had last Firday. We had an exciting match between Sublevel 27 vs Disgruntled Gamer!

BSS- Yep with SL27 coming out on top, but it didn t stop there!

MS- Nope we were constantly interrupted by that Mysterious Cloaked Man, who gave us a list of 6 names that he wanted to be put into our death match ring against his own creation.

BSS- Well only 4 of those names were legal to fight, and Sid6.9 and the Death Match Council agreed to place these competitors in the ring for the MCMs creation.

MS- But it didn t stop there, as he will have to ensure that he unmasks himself to the home audience before the match will take place. And if I m right, then yours truly will be taking on Peter (AKA Fake Sid6.9), in the ring after the death match tonight! I m looking to clean his clock as well, oh yeah * Waves a finger in the air *

BSS- Okay Sidious, lets take a look at who the 4 combatants for the War Room are.

The screen jumps to life as the first combatant hits the screen.

BSS- Okay folks our first combatant is the man that came outta nowhere, and then promptly left the same way! They say that a AOL hit team had taken him out, or Tridus got ahold of him for using AOL. Anyways those rumors are false as E-MONEY will be here tonight. This man is one rude, crude bastage of the War Room. For the short time he was here, he pissed off many people. This fighter may be small as compared to past death match participants, but that won t deter him from using moves like the "F_ck EVERY1 s A_S" or "MIDDLE FINGER SYNDROME"! But those are just set-ups for his finisher "CAPS LOCK BRAIN DEVESTATOR"! We ll see tonight though if he has enough to take out the MCM s creation.

That fighter on the screen is replaced by another.

MS- Okay one of his partners is the man no one trusts. This fighter has hacked Blizzard games since the dawn of, well the dawn of Blizzard. He is the one and only Acid~Angel! Now even though this fighter doesn't trust anyone, or, more importantly, isn't trusted by anyone. This man could be considered the wild card in this match up tonight. He has a variety of moves to use, including the "Mini-Map Bitch Slap" to the "Hackers Virus Bomb". All great set-up moves to his deadly "Multi Hacker Mutilator". We will see tonight if this hacker can well, hack it!

Acid~Angels picture is replaced by a smaller man than E-MONEY.

BSS- The third competitor is straight outta Bible School. He is the one fighter that most are underestimating. But not me, this fighter is one that can jack you off, opps I mean up,up, in a heartbeat! He is Winds of the Past, and with his set-up move the "Bible Thumper" is certainly a set-up for his finisher the "Preachers Kiss of Death". Can this man get it done? We will see tonight.

Winds of the Past is removed the screen replaced by,

The fans chant * 316, 316, 316 *

MS- Heh heh, that s right fight fans, the man known by 316, and no we aren t talking about that wimp Stone Cold Steve Austin. We are talking Flutie 316! This man could be the one that turns the tide in tonights battle. Okay, with moves like the "Flutie Bomb" and "Just Plain Steve Baby" can surely make you think twice about stepping in the ring with him. But his finisher has even got me mystified, "Grandmas Ride on Space Mountain" is one finisher I can t wait to see.

BSS- Okay, there are the competitors who will be taking on the Mysterious Cloaked Mans creation! And speaking of the MCM here he comes now.

The MCM is walking down the aisle as many fans boo and hiss him. One fan tries to grab him to only be punched to the ground by his bodyguards. The MCM stands there amused, intimidating the fans to try the same thing.

MS-(Screaming at the MCM) Oh man, call off your dogs, just cause you re a pussy doesn't mean you have to hurt our fans!

The MCM takes his seat next to Big Sexy, staying away from Master Sidious, puts on the headset,

MCM- Oh yeah baby, the MCM is back and I m dead sexy!

MS- More like dead meat, after I get you * points to the ring * in that ring later!

MCM- Oh contraire my misunderstood friend, I will not be battling anyone tonight.

BSS- Heh heh, I think you will be there, and the only sexy one here is me, understand!

MCM- Oh you aren t sexy, your more like, ahem, damn ugly!

BSS- Yeah right, from a man that has to cloak himself, heh, you haven t had pussy since pussy last had you, freak!

MS- All right calm down Big Sexy, remember he s mine!

BSS- Heh heh, okay Sidious, but save me a piece though!

MCM- You both don t know what you are about to be dealing with.

MS- Well, whatever, hey Mother Love is with our first participant.

Mother Love- Thanks guys, and Big Sexy, mommas got on something special for you. * Removes her outer coat to reveal a black teddy.

BSS- Oh yikes!! Man that teddy looks like it has to be in pain! How in the hell did she get into that thing?!?

MCM-(Just now seeing Mother Love) Oh good lord, that's a whole lotta women there!

ML- Okay, Winds, tonight you and the other 3 participants are taking on someone you have no idea about tonight. Any thoughts on it?

Winds of the Past- (Kneeling while holding his bible) Ahh first let me tell a psalms, St Mark 125 "and again he sent another; and him they killed, and many others; beating some, and killing some." Translation For the time has come for me to lay my hand down on the sinners, and cast them out of paradise!

ML- Umm okay, but how do you think the fight will go tonight?

WotP- From Hebrews 106 "In burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin thou hast no pleasure." Translation By the grace of god I will overcome the tyranny that is these offerings and sacrifice them for sin have no pleasure anymore!

ML-Umm okay thanks there Winds, umm back to you guys!

WotP- For the lord sends me out as a sheep to the wolves, so say I will overcome said wolves!

MS- Heh heh, I guess he s ready to fight.

BSS- Yep, but he doesn't make any sense though. Could you tell what he was saying?

MCM- He is talking about his and the others inevitable destruction!

MS-(To MCM) Shut up! Anyways I hear that Mother Love has made her way to Acid~Angel, lets get back to her.

Mother Love- Okay so Acid~Angel, tonight you are facing an unknown opponent. Any thoughts on who it would be?

Acid~Angel- It doesn t matter who it will be. Besides I don't want to talk about that. I have come up with a new hack. Heh heh and what a hack it is. I ve combined the latest H-H patch into a hack that makes the patch work, while you don t know it. Muahahahahah the hack is the greatest of my creations ever since my multi money hacking money hacker that gave you the money that your opponent mined. Heh heh, that one was my greate,

ML- Umm back to you guys.

MCM- Ha, that guy isn't prepared for his inevitable doom, heh heh he is coming, coming back, muhahahahahahaha.

MS- Oh would you just stop that Peter, we know he's coming back, and soon after, my foot is going to be coming after your ass!

BSS- Heh heh yeah you'll be soon wearing a 10 ½ size Nike up your booty there Mysterious Cloaked Meathead.

MCM- Oh I don't think so my dear sexy one! * Leaning over touching his arm *

BSS- Umm I don't swing that way son so stop coming on to me.

MCM (Very Upset)- Ohhhh you, grrrrr, I'm not no homo, I was trying to explain somethin,

MS- No time for that, Mother Love is with E-MONEY, lets go to them.

Mother Love- Okay E-MONEY, you ve got 3 partners and one unknown enemy. Any thoughts on that?

E-MONEY- YES I DO HAVE SOME F_UCKING THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS B_ITCH MATCH LATER TONIGHT. ALL MY A_SHOLE PARTNERS BETTER DO WHAT I WANT THOSE P__SIES TO DO. I M THE TRUE F_UCKING CHAMPION TONIGHT! THIS SO CALLED MCM IS SUCH A PU_SY! HE WILL SEE HIS CREATION DESTROYED BY ME, AND ME ALONE!

FLAME ON

ML- Okay thanks E-Money, well back to you guys.

MCM- Ha, what a buffoon, he will die, die will he!

MS- Heh, die will he. Ha you re an idiot, your creation is so dead tonight. He can't take out all these guys by himself. Don't worry though there MCM, we have a great funeral plan for you and your creation.

BSS- Heh yeah, it's called you stab em, we slab em. You choke em, we smoke em. Heh heh, you beat..

MS- Enough Sexy, Mother Love is with our last participant, Flutie 316.

Mother Love- So Fluite, I hear you are the favorite to be able to pull off this fight tonight.

Flutie316- Yep that s right! I hear Winds likes to quote bible verses, well here's mine. From Flutie 510 "And he who walks into the shed, shall have ye head cracked open by a splintered log" Translation I'm going to crack someones head open with a splintered log! That creation by the MCM won't last a second with me in the ring!

ML- But word has it this man is unlike any other.

F316- It does not matter who he is! I am the chosen one, I will take this fist, ram it down his throat, and take him on a ride he won't soon forget!

ML- Okay thanks, back to you guys.

BSS- Wow, I like his bible verse better. I could understand it!

MS- Heh, what s wrong there MCM, cat got your tongue? If I didn t know better you look worried about him.

MCM- I am not worried, I just have a horrible itch, this cloak is chaffing me.

BSS- Okay here comes our first participant Acid~Angel.

Acid~Angel comes out to the music of Marilyn Mansons "The Rock is Dead."

MS- Appropriate song for a lame hacker like him.

BSS- Yep and here comes Winds of the Past!

Winds of the Past comes out to "Jesus Christ Superstar" by Super Tramp.

MCM- Hmmph Winds of the Past, heh heh, my creation will break wind.

BSS- What did you say?!? You broke wind?

MCM- No! My creation is going to break winds!

MS- Oh that s disgusting, I don t want to see him break wind!

MCM- Oh, you guys,(Shaking his fist) ooooooo, grrrrr, oh just forget it!

Just then they hear the sound of breaking glass followed by the music of Korns "Freak on a Leash". The fans rise and start chanting "Flutie, Flutie"

BSS- Oh yeah baby, here comes the man Flutie!

MCM looks downward and doesn't say anything.

MS- Heh heh looks like the Mysterious Cloaked Meatsacks got nothing to say!

MCM-&&.

BSS- And finally we have E-MONEY coming out!

E-MONEY comes out to the music of Megadeths "Symphony of Destruction."

MS- Okay your competition is in the ring, I think it is your turn there MCM, time to reveal yourself.

Just then a large crate 10 by 10 arrives inside the stadium. They sit it down by the ring.

MS- Holy crap! That s a big box! And what the hell is that coming from the box.

A low growl can be heard coming from the box.

BSS-(Thinking out loud) Umm I recognize that growl, but can't quite place it.

MCM- Ahh I guess it is time to reveal myself. Behold your doom has arrived!

And with that he pulls the cloak down over his head. To the astonishment of Big Sexy and Master Sidious who are left with there mouths open, the fans hold there breath, the competitors in the ring eye the crate by the ring, Shockwave is enjoying a pre-match Martini, and a donkey in Tibet lays a turd on the ground. As the man pulls the cloak down he reveals a man with Blond hair and cold and icy blue eyes that stare directly at Sidious.

MS- Who, who, are you!?!

BSS- Yeah you're not Peter, who are you?!?

MCM- Muhahahahaha, you thought you knew me, ha ha, my name is Death~Lizard the Unholy Mad Scientist!

BSS- But, but, but, but I heard that you d-d-d-d-died!

DL- Ha! Foolish mortal, there is no death that can contain the unholy power that is me!

MS- Umm okay now I m a little scared here fight fans. We have just found out who the man is and he is the Mad Scientist from Inforceptor known as Death~Lizard.

DL-(Eyeing Sidious intently) That's right my dear Sidious, still want a piece of me?!?

MS (Lowering in his seat)- Umm no, not really. * Makes a circle on his desk with his finger * I was just teasing. Heh heh you know, it was all a joke. I knew it was you all the time, yeah, that s it.

DL- Ha foolish mortal, the time has come to release my creation. * Motions for the creations handlers to open the top of the box *

A great roar can be heard as the top of the box comes off. Both Acid~Angel and Winds from the Past take a step back, Flutie crosses his arms, and E-MONEY is busy pissing someone off, as 2 giant hands grab the top of the box. The fans go * Gasp * at the sight of an enourmous head peers out of the top of the box. Winds of the Past and Acid~Angel are now back against the ropes unable to take their eyes off the monstrosity coming out of the box. Flutie is out of the ring just now realizing who his competitor is. E-MONEY is still pissing the fans off.

MS(Screaming, and not realizing it)- On my god in heaven, it can't be, no it can t be, h-h-h-h-he s dead!

DL- Ahhhh, arise my creation, arise and destroy all!

MS- I can t believe what I m seeing! It can't be him, it just can't be.

Big Sexy in a whispered tone says one name.

BSS(Whispering)- Peak_Man.

DL- Yes it is Peak_Man, ha ha ha ha, I told you would pay for letting me have this match, and now you will! Arise you unholy bastard and kill, kill everyone! Muhahahahahaha!

MS- B-b-b-b-b-but he s dead!

BSS- Yeah I saw it with my own eyes, Tridus and H-H killed him 3 weeks ago!

DL- Ahh you killed a Peak_Man yes! But he is a clone!

MS- You mean he s a test tube baby!

BSS- Yeah what did you do, grow him in a petry dish,?!? A big ass petry dish?

DL- Ahh yes we did, and with anabolic steroids, vitamin supplements, mega-man protein drink, and chocolate Yoo-Hoo has made the ultimate fighting machine return. Return to wreak havoc, havoc I tell you, Havoc!!!

The ring announcer seeing Peak_Man runs off screaming well before he can announce the fighters.

MS- Well I guess we won't have any ring announcements tonight.

BSS- Heh heh, nope, I think Peak_Man thought he was food or something the way he was looking at him.

MS- Hey there's Shockwave making his way into the ring to give the fighters there instructions.

Shockwave walking towards the ring finally looks up at and sees Peak_Man and promptly turns around and walks back to the back.

MS- Oh what the hell, we don t even have a referre now! Oh man this isn't looking good!

DL- Ha, ha, ha, kill them * points towards the 4 competitors * Kill them now!

Peak_Man looks up at him and seemingly understands. He reaches out of the ring and grabs E-MONEY who never looked at him. Picks him up and starts to sniff him.

Peak_Man- Foooddd?!?

E-MONEY- Holy Crap!! Hey someone help me here! Holy crap!

Flutie slides into the ring behind Peak_Man and hit him over the back several times with a steel chair. Peak_Man drops E-Money and looks at Flutie&

MS- Oh man those chair shots didn t even faze the bigger Peak_Man!

BSS- Nope and from looking at the way he is looking at Flutie, I d say that he should umm run!

DL- Ha, indeed, run you little Fairy, run for you will surely die! Muhahahahahahaha!

As PM starts towards Flutie, Winds of the Past comes up from behind PM and bites one of his ankles!

MS- Wow, WotP is biting the hell out of Peaks ankles.

BSS- Yeah but he certainly isn't & oh shit! Duck!!!

Sidious, Big Sexy, and Death~Lizard all duck to avoid a flying Winds as he passes them by.

BSS(Looking back at where Winds landed) Oh man 3 points, he just went through the uprights!

MS- Heh heh that was one hell of a kick wasn't it!

Peak Man meanwhile in the ring picks up both E-MONEY and Flutie by the necks and start to bash there heads together. Acid~Angel meanwhile comes up from behind and sticks something into Peaks tights&

BSS- What the heck is Acid putting in his trousers!?!

MS- I don t know but it looks like Peak Man is having a meeting of the minds, E-MONEY and Fluties minds!

Acid~Angel makes his way out of the ring bringing with him the cord from Peak Mans britches and plugs one end into an electrical outlet.

BSS- Oh yes, Acid is going electric baby!

Just as he plugs in the cord, Peak Man, Flutie, and E-MONEY all get a great jolt of electricity! Acid unplugs the cord and climbs back into the ring.

Acid- (Raising his hands into the air) I am the champion! I killed them all, all hail me, I am the ruler of the world!

But not realizing that it was only a 9 volt outlet, Peak Man gets up and grabs Acid by the throat picks him up and slams him several time into the corner turnbuckle. Turning Acid over he begins to slam his head into the mat as well, and finally throws him across the ring smacking hard into the furthest turnbuckle.

BSS- Oooooo that was some serious punishment dished out there!

DL- Ahh yes it was * Ringing his hands together *!

MS- Oh man but Winds is still here, that thick head of his must have saved him from his aerial trip to the back of the Death Match stadium wall.

Winds of the Past climbs on one of the turnbuckles and with Bible in hand&

WotP- Yah as I walk through the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil!

And he launches off the turnbuckle deliviring&

BSS- Wow, "Bible Thumper", "Bible Thumper"!!

MS- Yep what a move from the top rope!

But Peak Man just turns around and looks at Winds&

WotP- (Starts running from Peak Man) Okay, okay, I fear the evil, I fear the evil, please, please don't hurt me! I m so fragile, please don't hurt me!

Peak Man while chasing him doesn't see E-MONEY get up and step in front of him. With 2 middle fingers up in the air Peak Man stops dead in his tracks and cocks his head sideways at E-MONEY&

MS- Yes, oh yes, "MIDDLE FINGER SYNDROME" and I don t think Peak understands it!

DL-(To Master Sidious) Well of course he doesn't, he s only 15 days old you know! (To Peak Man) Get him, get him damn it! Don t just stand there like a dolt! Get him!

But with the distraction by E-MONEY, Acid~Angel comes up from behind Peak Man and grabs a leg quickly, pulling on it, forcing the big mans weight to fall to the mat! Acid~Angel jumps into the air delivering a elbow to Peak Mans knee! He climbs up onto the top ring rope and jumps off delivering a knee to Peak Mans head!

MS- "Hackers Virus Bomb", "Hackers Virus Bomb" Oh man I never thought I'd see this, but Peak Man is in serious trouble.

DL- No!! Oh god no! It can't happen, he is supposed to win * Grabs his headset and rips it off, and starts to head towards the ring *!

MS- Well fight fans there goes Death~Lizard to try to help Peak Man! Heh, heh and they did it all themselves! Not even needing Flutie.

Meanwhile Flutie 316 is still trying to recover from the earlier head bashing he received. Winds of the Past reaches and grabs Peak Mans head and plants a kiss full on his lips&

WotP- (While grabbing the top of Peak mans head and with the other on his chin) And now I will cast ye out of paradise, and throw you down to where the serpent lays!

BSS- "Preachers Kiss of Death", Umm but Sidious why did he just take off his pants!

MS- I don t know, but it is pretty disgusting!

Meanwhile Acid~Angel continues his attack on Peak Mans back while Winds prepares to do something, well disturbing to say the least, while E-MONEY works on peaks knees. Death~Lizard hits the ringside area, looks at Peak Man then at Flutie 316, and nods at him. Flutie returns the nod.

BSS- Heh heh Peak Man is dead again, heh heh, oh joy, we get to see him killed twice. Oh man what the hell!

Flutie 316 comes up from behind Winds and grabs his chin backwards, throwing him straight up into the air and slams down popping winds head back, and with the violent move came a loud * snap *. (The fans * Gasp * at seeing what Flutie had just did.)

BSS- He just, what the, he just put the "Just Plain Steve Baby" on Winds of the Past and broke his neck! What the hell Sidious, what's going on!

MS- I don't have any idea! Maybe Flutie thought Winds head was Peak Mans.

Acid~Angel seeing what Flutie did immediately jumps on him, slamming a fist twice into his head, but Flutie turns it around into a whip and runs towards the opposite ropes sending him off flying at Acid as he comes running back. And with grabbing Acid by the waist he flips him up and over slamming Acids back into one of his knees.

MS- Oh what the, oh god no, don t tell me, no, no, no, damn it, no!

BSS- Yep, it appears that Flutie is one of Death~Lizards fighters! And with the "Flutie Bomb" it looks like Acid is in trouble!

MS- Oh why is he doing this! There is no reason for him too& Oh no don't do it!

Flutie picks up (While the fans Boo Flutie) Acid and slams a fist down into his throat. Pick him up and starts to spin violent with Acids body swinging out in front of him, faster and faster he spins with him! Finally at the point of a blur he releases Acid~Angel sending him flying across the War Room Stadium into the brick wall.

BSS- Oh man, oh no, Acid~Angel has been eliminated by "Grandmas ride on Space Mountain"!

MS- This is just plain evil, what Flutie is doing is just plain wrong!

Death~Lizard meanwhile has crossed his arms and is smiling intently as Peak Man picks up E-MONEY, and jumps into the air, crosses a leg over his neck, and the other under his neck, lands on the mat, and with a violent twist, breaks E-MONEYs neck!

MS- Oh what a travesty, what a double-cross, what the hell was that! Why is Flutie working for Death~Lizard? Damn it, this wasn t supposed to happen!

Flutie 316 picks up the mic (Fluite is being booed by the fans as they throw trash into the ring)&

Flutie 316- (To the fans) Oh shut the hell up, cause you all can just "suck it"! It s a whole New World Disorder baby! And you are looking at the bad asses * Pointing at Peak Man and himself * of the ring! Come on in here my dark master and lay it down on em! (Tosses the mic to Death~Lizard and steps back)

Death~Lizard- That s right it s the whole New World Disorder! We are here to take this show apart! Ha ha we will rule over everyone! These punk asses were only the start! I work for a higher power that wants to destroy you all! All hail the first 2 participants of this New Disorder! Flutie 316 and Peak Man, will run through everyone! So just stay tuned, cause we are not done yet!

And with that they all leave the ring, while flipping of Master Sidious and Big Sexy Stefan.

MS- Oh man, what the heck did they mean New World Disorder! Where the hell is Sid at? We need answers!

BSS- Oh man there went the neighborhood!

MS- Well fight fans your winner for this match is Peak Man, with assistance from Flutie 316 who stabbed us all in the back. Damn him, damn him for what he did!

BSS- Yep, looks like we are in for some trouble!

MS- Yep, I guess we will have to wait until Monday to see what Sid has to say about this! Until then fight fans I'm Master Sidious&

BSS- And I'm Big Sexy Stefan saying&

Both Together- Good fight, Good night!

Copyright Sid6.9 enterprises

No rebroadcast premitted without consent or written approval by Sid6.9enterprises.