KABOOM! Fireworks shoot off, the crowd rises to its feet as Scorpions "Rock You Like a Hurricane" blasts from the house speakers. The fans rise to their feet and start to cheer, as the Death-O-Vision comes to life with…

The fans cheer and start to raise some serious hell at the words…

The words fade away to reveal…

The cameras follow the line of fans as they wave their homemade signs…

The cameras pan up to the raised platform where 2 darkened figures take their seats…

The fans moan at the sight of Flutie and start chanting " We want Rich, We want Rich! We want the original Big Sexy, yeah baby!"

Meanwhile in the back watching the action on the monitor, Rstefan01 just gives a little grin. From the back though we hear a knock at his door and he turns around…

Rstefan01- Hey, dude, what’s going on…huh, what, oh okay, no problem.

Rich makes his way out the door, to where the person who came in left towards, unfortunately the cameras did not catch the person who came in. Meanwhile back at the announcers booth…

F3:16- God damn it, stop throwing your fucking socks at me you geeks! I am the Big Sexy One and I know you’re all just jealous that you can’t be me!

DDW- Heh, heh, yep, everyone wants to be the Big Flutie! Hey dude so what about this really sorry ass match tonight. Man oh man, I’ve seen some lame competitors before, but these 2 take the cake!

F3:16- Well I disagree there Deathwish. This will certainly be a memorable FNWRDM.

DDW- What?!? How ca… * Flutie puts his hand up *

DDW- Well of course, your right Fluts, this is going to be memorable, how stupid of me.

F3:16- Ah, your not stupid Deathwish, just didn’t think about the big picture. I agree these 2 cupcakes here tonight wouldn’t be able to tie my shoelaces, much less get in the ring with me.

DDW- Hey maybe we could find Edge and Y2T to take them on, maybe that would make for a better match.

F3:16- Naw, Edge and Y2T would get killed by our competitors tonight, and besides, we get them next week remember?

DDW- Oh yeah, and it is going to be one hell of a kick ass night next week. Hey lets tell the fools out there who is battling tonight.

F3:16- Yeah I guess we should, well out first competitor is the man that certainly has been stirring the pot lately. This man has pissed off more people in SW.Net than anyone else has, or could even try! He got his butt banned and now he wants revenge. Revenge that only the Death Match ring can decide. He is Akradem, the militant administrator from CWAL. This man is a potato sack, I mean this guy should be glad he is facing who he is, and not in there with me. Course he would last all of well, 3 seconds.

DDW- Ha, ha, exactly Big Sexy. Well his competitor is the man that banned Akky, as we will call him throughout the fight, is also got some issues with his foe. He was pointed out by Akky as being the one that sabotaged the CWAL Rubber Room. He subsquentially banned him from the Rubber Room as well. He is the SW Net Dictator, Proman911, or 911 as he will be referred to tonight. This guy is so clumsy that he wouldn’t hold up to my aerial assaults. He should just head on home right now and call it a night, cause I may just decide to go and kick his ass before the match even begins, then let my boy Flutie take out Akky. How about it Big Sexy, sound like a plan?

F3:16- Naw, lets just sit up here, drink our beers, smoke some cigarettes, and make fun of them trying to act tough.

DDW- All right, sounds good to me, but I’d still prefer to kill someone though.

F3:16- Hey the night is young, anything could happen.

British- Thanks there mates, and save me some beer, ‘kay?

F3:16 tips a beer towards him and smiles.

B- Aw right there Punkman, you and some other sissy are going to be going at it tonight. How you feel about this little punk slag?

Proman911- It’s Proman, and tonight Akky will see why I am the total package. I’m going to tie that freak into a ball and dropkick his pansy ass back to CWAL!

B- Hoe there, slow down there Punkman, I’m sure that your mum wouldn’t like you talking like that, why don’t you do yourself a favor and go home.

B (Hollering after Proman)- Hey you punk slag, don’t forget to watch your back tonight mate, cause I may be right behind ya to lay the "British Pound" on ya.

DDW- Ha, what a freak man, now I really want to kill him! Come on Big Sexy, lets just kill the two of em.

F3:16- Well if it was a week ago, I’d say oh hell yeah, but Sid6.9 is the boss, and he wants a fight. So lets just chill.

DDW- Okay, I guess so, hey, tell the morons out there how you think the fight is going to go.

F3:16- Well it’s like this, their going to slap each other like sissies, scream like little girls, and generally piss there pants when they see us!

DDW- Heh, heh, couldn’t have said it better myself. Hey British is with the other rubber necker from the rubber land, Akradem.

F3:16- About the only cool thing about him, he has a forum with one of my favorite items.

DDW- ?

F3:16- Rubbers!

DDW (Slaps his forehead)- Oh of course. Well lets get back to British.

British- Well there Lakky, it seems the other punk slag has got it out for you. So how you gonna wuss your way out of this fight.

Akky- Hey I don’t wuss out of nothing. Proman tonight will feel my pain, feel my friends pain, hell, he will feel everyones pain.

B- Well that’s a lot of pain there Akky, but I don’t think you got what it takes in them string bean arms of yours.

Akky- String bean arms? My arms are huge, almost as big as yours. And tonight I use them to beat the hell out of Proman911! How appropriate too that he has the name 911 cause he will need to call 911 after I’m done with him. (Akky starts to walk off.)

B- All right there fruity, hope you don’t have an accident before you get to the ring.

DDW- Well it seems the pansies are ready. But still this fight is just lame, and I mean lame.

F3:16- Yep, these two guys are damn luc…(Just then the feed to the broadcast station is re-transmitted)

As the television camera comes back on we find Edge, Y2T, Beavis and Butthead in some nudie bar.

Beavis- hmmm, hmm, hmmm, hmm, oh my god Butthead look, hmmm, hm, hmm, hmm look at her big thingys!

Butthead- heh heh heh, yeah, heh heh heh, (In Barry White imitation) Come to Butthead, heh heh heh!

Smack * As Edge and Y2T hit B and B in the heads.

Edge- I knew I shouldn’t bring you two Jabroonies here, now know your role and shut your mouths!

Beavis- Um, hmm, hm, hmmmm, sorry about that sir.

Butthead- Yeah, heh heh heh, Beavis sucks, heh heh heh, it was his fault.

Meanwhile Y2T gets back on his cell phone.

Y2T (Talking on the phone)- Okay, okay, I know. I will have the money for the match next week. I promise. Hey, Sid6.9 usually pays for these shing-dings, how come we are responsible for paying it? Um-hmm, I see, well hey, don’t get upset, I will get the money. * Click, beep * (As Y2T hangs up the phone and whispers something to Edge)

Edge- What do you mean Edge has to pay?! You just find the money, I need some new $2,000.00 dollar snake skin boots for next weeks match-up, just find the money.

Y2T- * Sigh *, (Under his breath) Damn cheap bastard.

Edge (To the camera)- Well, well, since Sid6.9 banned us from the arena, we decided to haul this cameraman with us to our favorite hang out, "Jiggles Wonder House of Pancakes"! The fans can’t see the Corporation there, so we will bring you all here.

Y2T (Excitable)- What?! What do you mean get the check?! Why do I always have to get the check?

Edge just looks at Y2T and raises the eyebrow. Edge turns around, places his arms around 2 naked chicks and heads for the door with Beavis and Butthead in tow.

Y2T (As he pays the bill)- God damn cheap mofo, why do I always get stuck with the checks. What the? $100.00 for a drink? What the hell was he drinking?

After paying Y2T grabs 3 naked chicks and heads for the door.

Y2T (To the camera)- At least Y2T gets more chicks than Edge can, heh heh.

Camera switches back to the War Room Arena where Deathwish and Flutie are relaxing with their feet up on the announcers booth and tipping back a couple of beers.

DDW- What’s up with that Flutie, they aren’t supposed to be here tonight.

F3:16- Yeah, I know, Sid6.9 is sick this week and is not able to be here to make sure his security performs their duties. I say he should fire all their asses for letting Edge and Y2T get their hands on a camera, then pirate the signal. (Takes a drink) * Slurp * Damn guards, they really should have their asses handed to them for messing up yet again.

DDW- Oh yeah, and lets give a big get well to Sid6.9. The hardest working man in Death Match Entertainment.

F3:16- (Lifts his beer)- Here, here. Here’s to you Sid, hope ya get your head out of the toilet bowl soon and get back to kick the shiznit out of Edge and Y2T. * Burp *

DDW- Well it looks like the match is about to get underway. Here comes our first douchbag, known as Akky. And look who is in attendance tonight, I see CWAL is well represented here.

Camera pans down to see Dark Nexus, Lothos, Fron, Robo-Gerbil, and Crystal in attendance.

F3:16- * Burp * Yeah and British has made his way to them, lets see what they have to say.

British- Eh mates (While sticking the microphone towards CWAL) what’s the rag-tag CWAL army doing here tonight. Guess you fruits couldn’t get dates huh?

Lothos- Oh you just be nice, here have a cupcake (Sticks a cupcake towards British who takes it), some tea?

B- Well yeah sure, it is always tea time. But why are you all here?

Dark Nexus- Yeah we are here to see our benevolent dictator get the crap beat out of him. (Thinks to himself) "And to support him in this endeavor."

All the other CWAL members stare at DN.

DN (Slaps himself on the forehead)- Doh! I said the part I was thinking and thought the part I should have said.

British- Ha ha, you lame losers, you can’t even get anything right can you?

Crystal (To Robo-Gerbil)- I don’t like that mean looking man (Looking at British), he is scary.

Robo-Gerbil (To Crystal)- Yeah he is, he could use some colors, black and blue is so out.

Crystal thinks to herself then blinks twice and a flick of her ponytail later, British is dressed up like a clown holding balloons in one hand and a cream pie in the other.

B- What the? Ah bloody hell I’m no damn clown, what the hell is going on?

Crystal- There, now you look funny. Tee hee hee you’re Bobo the funny clown, tee hee hee.

Fron- Hey British, want to see something?

B- Yeah, what is it.

Fron- Look at this.

Whips out 3 pictures of Rosie O’Donnell, Oprah Winfrey, and Garth Brooks all engaged in a sexual perversion of water sports in the bathroom.

B- Ahhhh, noooooooo! (And British runs away screaming) Let me away from these loonies, my parents warned me about them, but I didn’t believe ‘em.

DN- Umm, Fron, why did you bring them with you?

Fron- I don’t know, I kinda like ‘em. And look at the birthmark on Rosie’s butt, doesn’t it look like Jay Leno?

Everyone (while looking at the disturbing image)- Hey yeah, it does.

Back at the announcers booth.

DDW- Well it certainly seems the "freaks and geeks" of CWAL have scared away British.

F3:16- Heh, yeah, but that isn’t too difficult, British has always hated strange people, and CWAL has certainly a lot of that. Well I see Akradem is making his way out…

Akradem come out to the music of Styx’s "Mr. Roboto".

DDW- Heh, fitting song, as Styx did use him as Mr. Roboto.

F3:16- Well here comes the only member of the original staff that was not replaced, in the referee known as Shockwave. I understand it that he has that written into his contract with Sid6.9.

DDW- Yeah, but I don’t think he had it planned to let our own Peak Man do the announcements, now did Sid.

F3:16 (while shaking his head)- Nope, and this isn’t going to be pretty either. Hey here comes Akkys competitor, douchebag #2 in Proman911.

Proman911 makes his way to the ring from the music of Proman2000 singing "When worlds collide".

F3:16- Hey that’s the song with the dude that kills like some Diablo looking dude in the music video isn’t it?

DDW- Yeah I think it is.

F3:16- Okay, that song and video sucks anyways. Heh heh, I bet that Proman probably plays dungeons and dragons too, damn Slapnuts.

Proman and Akradem are in the ring when the announcer Peak Man walks in with Death~Lizard to make the pre-match introductions. Peak Man takes the mic…

Peak Man- Duh, huh, I……am…….Peak Man!…

The crowd sits in dismay waiting for Peak Man to say something else, Shockwave meanwhile is ignoring this all, in fact he jumped out of the ring when Peak entered it.

Death~Lizard (While patting Peak Man)- It’s okay big man, just make the announcements like I told ya, okay?

Peak Man (To Death~Lizard)- Okie, dokie Lizzie. * The fans all laugh at hearing the word Lizzie and point at Death~Lizard, "Ha, ha, ha hey, hey Lizzie!" *

DL- Okay, okay, just don’t call me Lizzie out here. Go ahead make the announcements.

Peak Man- Uhhhh, I…….am……..Peak Man! Heh heh…

F3:16- Oh god, I knew this was going to be a disgrace, damn it, Death~Lizard didn’t have him ready.

DDW- Yeah and judging from the way he is looking at Akradem, I’d say he is hungry. If I were Akky, I’d run now.

Meanwhile in the ring, Death~Lizard hands Peak Man a note to read from.

DL- Here big man, just like we practiced, read from this. * Hands him the note *

Peak Man takes the note and looks at it sideways, then promptly sticks the note in his mouth and starts eating it.

DL- Oh no! Don’t eat it Peak, no, stop that, take that, ouch, you bit me.

Peak Man just stands there giggling.

PM- Tee hee hee hee, I bited the hand that feeding me, heh heh heh.

Meanwhile in the audience.

Dark Nexus- Wow what an introduction, that has got to be the best one Akky has ever received. I give it two thumbs way up!

Lothos- Careful there Nexie, that big dude may try to eat em if you put them up too high. And speaking of eating, where the hell is the free nachos and beer we were promised!

Robo-Gerbil- I think I saw Kazz in the back holding up the vending stands for their food. You know how he gets, especially when "Fluffy" is hungry.

Lothos- Shut up newbie. I knew we shouldn’t have brought a newbie with us.

Fron- Hmmmm, I guess that dude needs a little CWAL intervention, how about it Crystal, think you can make him talk better, maybe a little something to better his knowledge.

Crystal- Tee hee hee, I think he is funny, I like him the way he is, tee hee hee. But he is a little too big, maybe I could turn him into a well-hung Chihuahua?

Fron (Thinking about it)- Umm, well no, I think the people here in the War Room wouldn’t be able to handle that.

Crystal- Very well then. (Takes a lick of her lollipop)

Meanwhile in the ring, Death~Lizard has taken away the mic from a dejected Peak Man.

DL (Very upset)- Give me that Peak! * Reaching and snatching away the mic, as the fans cheer. *

PM- Awwwwww, no one like Peak Man. * Sniff * * Starts crying after realizing the fans don’t like him *

DL- Okay there morons, listen up and listen good, in that corner is a cupcake * Pointing at Akky *, and in this corner we have a wussy * Pointing at 911 *, now shut the hell up and just watch the fight! * The fans start to boo and start throwing trash into the ring *

Death~Lizard then leads a very sad Peak Man out of the ring, and off into the night.

Dark Nexus- Ooooooo, I like his introduction even better! Two thumbs and two toes way, way up.

Crystal (To Fron)- Fron why are all the people here so mean?

Fron- Ahh Crystal, they just don’t understand what it means to be CWAL.

Crystal thinks for a moment, then blinks twice and with a flip of her ponytail, all the members of the War Room have Joker like grins on their faces. You know from the first Batman movie, where Jack Nicholson was playing as the Joker and he used that cosmetic thingy to kill people, and they would die with smiles on their faces. Oh come on, yes you do remember it, and then Batman had to find the cure for it, and he did, and all the people were happy, but then Jack as the Joker came up with another evil…umm, sorry, I’m rambling aren’t I? Oh well, back to the story…

War Room Forumer (With a huge ass grin)- I don’t know why I’m smiling, cause I’m so unhappy right now.

Another War Room Forumer (With a huge ass grin)- Yeah and this smile really fucking hurts.

Up at the announcers booth…

DDW (With a huge ass grin) WTF is up with this shit!

F3:16 (With a huge ass grin)- No shit, man I hate smiling, smiling sucks when you are in the War Room.

Meanwhile front row…

Fron (With a huge ass grin)- All right Crystal, I think everyone has had enough happiness for now.

Crystal (Normal looking with no grin, why, she cast the spell stupid)- Oh okay Fron. * And she blinks twice and a flick of her ponytail later, the grins were gone, but left with a sensation of goodwill. * (Editors note: Know you gotta say awwww that’s nice to that, now get back to the fight Sid)

Back inside the ring Shockwave is giving the instructions to the fighters.

Shockwave- Okay gentleman, I gave you my instructions in the back, but for those of you playing with your toes, Akradem I’m looking in your direction.

Akky- W-w-w-h-h-h-a-a-a-t-t-t, so I had some toe-jam. Gotta get that stuff out or else it could effect my fight tonight.

911- The only thing you should be worried about is me banning your ass into the after life, bitch!

Akky- Oh I don’t think so there Proman, I’m going to sending your ass to hell in a handbasket! And little red riding Edge won’t be here to save you.

Shockwave- All right enough of that, I haven’t said "lets get it on". Okay, Lets Get It On!

And with that the bell sounds…

F3:16- * Yawn * Okay there’s the bell, looks like th…Zzzzzzzzzzzz (Flutie falls into a drunk stupor.)

DDW- Ah hell, Flutie is loaded, looks like it is up to me.

Meanwhile in the ring, Proman and Akradem circle each other throwing out random insults.

Akky- Slut!

911- Bitch!

Akky- Camel humping love monkey!

911- Butt loving poppy pumper!

Akky- Ass goblin nut eater!

911- Penis boy!

Akky- Sissy girl!

911- Oh those are fighting words!

Akky- Indeed!

Shockwave- All right you sissies, I said lets get it on! Now lets see some fur fly, blood shooting, death match nasty fight!

And with that 911 and Akky lock up in the center of the ring, both being of equal size couldn’t get the advantage on the other as several breaks are ordered. Meanwhile at the announcers booth…

F3:16- Zzzzzzzz…

DDW- Zzzzzzzz…

Finally after 8 minutes of locking up and pushing and pulling, Proman is able to give Akky a well placed knee to his gut. With the advantage of his foe being bent over, 911 grabs Akky by the hair picking him up and slamming him hard to the mat, the sound awakens our announcer.

F3:16- Uh (While rubbing the sleep out of his eyes) what was that? Sounded like a nat landing on my pillow. Oh it’s just them fighting, oh well, back to sleep. * Snore * Zzzzzzzz…

Meanwhile 911 is proceeding to put the boots to Akky’s head…

Dark Nexus- Way to go Proman, give him one for me!

Lothos- Umm, Nexie, we are here to support Akky, not support his opponent, after all he is still CWAL.

DN- Oh yeah, sorry about that. Way to go Akky! Way to use your face!

Proman laughing from what Dark Nexus is saying doesn’t see Akky roll over as he brings his next boot stomp down. Akky grabs onto his leg as it comes down, and with his free leg spins it around into 911’s leg forcing him to the mat. Akky proceeds to wrap a leg around 911’s head and squeezes as Proman squeals.

Akky- I knew you screamed like a pig! Now die, die, for the streets will flow with the blood of the non-believers that you messed with the Rubber Room!

911- I will never die, for I am the one! Here’s a little move Y2T showed me.

And 911 proceeds to twist his head to get one of Akky’s legs over his mouth and proceeds to bite him with the "Vipers Bite". Akky screams in pain and releases his hold, as does 911, they both get up at the same time. With Akky holding his bleeding leg, and 911 wiping the blood from his mouth.

Akky- I knew you were a sissy, biting sucks man!

911- Hey this is the Death Match, and anything goes!

Akky- Oh yeah well stop this.

And Akky waves his arms around like a windmill getting closer and closer to 911. 911 tries to dodge the windmill moves but is unfortunate as one catches him on top of the head, knocking him to the ground. Akky gets on top of 911 pinning his arms down.

Akky- Remember this one?

And Akky lets a big line of drool come out of his mouth and almost hit 911’s face, then he would suck it back into his mouth, and start again.

911- Oh god no, please stop that, my brother used to do this to me.

Akky- Oh hey, remember this one?

And Akky proceeds to do the Chinese Torture Trick by tapping both his forefinger and middle finger on 911‘s chest with both hands.

911- Ha, ha, ha, ha, stop that, ha, ha, ha, ha, I can’t, ha, ha, ha, ha take anymore, ha, ha, ha, ha.

And with a swift move, 911 uses Akky’s weight against him and knocks him off. Akky tries to throw a punch, but 911 avoids it cleanly landing a punch of his own to Akky’s head. 911 grabs Akky by the arm and throws him against the ropes and knocks him to the ground. 911 picks up Akky and slams him into the corner where lets off a flurry of shots to Akky’s head and chest. Akky not able to stop it just falls to the mat in a heap.

DDW- Zzzzzzz…

F3:16- Zzzzzzz…

Proman sensing victory picks up Akky and tries to grab an ankle and arm, but with Akky playing possum, he just lifts his knee into 911’s head. 911 backs up a few steps holding his nose as Akky bounces off the back rope and flies straight at 911 catching him with a very viscous clothesline! With 911 on the mat, Akky gives the high sign for his finishing move. 911 starts to get back up, but with Akky behind him he doesn’t see the inevitable awaiting him. After he rises to his feet, Akky charges into 911 grabbing him by the waist. He lifts 91 high into the air while flipping him over and launches him out of the ring and into a table set up ringside. Sensing he has won, Akky raises his arms and starts to taunt the fans.

Shockwave meanwhile clambers out of the ring to check on Proman911, when he arrives though, 911 is getting back to his feet. With Akky’s attention elsewhere he climbs back into the ring and charges at him. When he arrives he grabs Akky by the waist and lifts him high into the air while flipping him over and launches him out of the ring into the ring steps. Akky’s back and neck cracks into the ring steps with a sickening thud. Shockwave immediately climbs out of the ring to check on him, as Proman begins to celebrate. Shockwave checks on Akky, then climbs back into the ring.

Shockwave (While grabbing Proman911’s arm)- And your winner is…

Suddenly though from behind, Proman has his other arm grabbed by a very bloody Akky…

Akky- You can’t kill CWAL, you can only hope to contain us!

And with that Akradem turns his bloodied free arm inwards and with a very quick movement slices at Proman911’s throat, loping his head clean off. Shockwave looks at Akky then to Proman and lets go of Promans dead arm and raises Akradems.

Shockwave- And your winner is….Akradem!!! * The fans cheer as the other CWALers shake their heads.

Dark Nexus- Oh lord, now we will have to hear about this for the next 6-months, damn!

3 Hours after the fight, we make our way up to the announcers booth…

DDW- Zzzzzzzz…

F3:16- Zzzzzzzz…

Then some strange man steps into the War Room, dressed in a red suit, and a white beard, taps his nose twice and says…

Santa- Good Fight, Good Night!

As the credits roll…

Peak Man- Ehhhhh, is it over? Duh huh. I……..am……..Peak Man!