Edge using the "Anus Pull From Hell", Peak Man giving a scream, Tridus standing in the entrance way, DeathWish DDW sticking out his tongue as he walks past the camera! Fluite 3:16 snapping Winds of the Pasts neck like a toothpick, Disgruntled Gamer smashing Sublevel 27 in the head with a steel chair, Tridus screaming into the decapitated head of H-H, and British raising his hands in victory! Then words replace this images…

Then the words slowly disappear leaving the initials…

FNWRDM

The F, R, and M make their way off the screen as the W grows larger leaving…

The cameras pan by the fans as they wave their homemade signs some reading…

"The NWD killed my goldfish!", "As the man in black went out into the desert, the Gunslinger followed", "My mom made me put on clean underwear", "FO HEAD stole my Mr. Bonkles lunch box, kick his ass Gunslinger"

The cameras pan up to a raised platform where 2 dark figures take their seats…

Announcer Dude- It is that time again Fight Fans, time to Get It On! * The fans cheer wildly * Lets take you to our host with the most, Master Sidious! * A mighty cheer is raised *

Master Sidious- That’s right fight fans, lets blow the roof off this joint! * Stands and raises his hands into the air * It is time once again for the Friday Night War Room Death Match! And with me as always is the "Creature with the sexy Feature", the "Epitome of Evilness" and the man that once was trapped to watch 16 hours of the Rosie O’Donnell show and lived to tell about it, Big Sexy Stefan!

Big Sexy Stefan- Ahhh that’s right I am Big Sexy Stefan the Human Love Machine! * All the ladies throw their panties at him * Ahhh hold on there ladies, I’ll be soon in your drawers later, oh yeah, cause Big Sexy likes to put the F in freak oh yeah! But until later this is the…

MS and BSS- Fandomonium! * Reverberates throughout the War Room *

BSS- Yep and it wasn’t pretty either folks, in fact they won’t even let us replay that event, cause of the gratuitous violence that it was! If you would like to replay it though, try sneezing and farting at the same time, and the mess that ensues will rival that mess we had last Friday!

MS- Yep, and in the night cap match, we saw a confusing match up with the Dual of the NetRangers that saw, well, NetRanger win. Man was that confusing, and we promise you folks that we will not put on another one of those types of matches!

BSS- Amen to that brotha, preach tha word!

MS- Heh heh, okay Big Sexy it is a new week, and man do we have a bout for all of you tonight!

BSS- Yep, you voted for it, and you got it! It is Gunslinger set to take on SW Net enemy #1 FO HEAD!

MS- Yeah and the way we hear it, they have a whole list of people they want to beat the hell out of! But first lets take a …

Suddenly the arena goes dark, as on the Death Match-O-Vision we see a countdown clock with the words Y2T over top of it…

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

0…

Fireworks shoot off as "Enter Sandman" begins to blare through the speakers, and there is silouhette standing backwards holding a stick in one hand and a microphone in the other. The man turns around and takes a few steps out and soaks in the cheers from the crowd. Blows kisses to the crowd and brings the mic up to his mouth…

Y2T- Welcome to the Tridus Room! * The fans cheer wildly at this * It has come to my attention that Sid6.9 is refusing to give the fans what they want. Instead he decides to ruin your intellects with promoting another boring match! I can not sit by and let all my Tridaholics be bored. (Starts getting excited) Well the boredom ends tonight! I will bring the excitement back to where it belongs, here in the Death Match that Sid6.9 has no balls for! Ya see, he wants you to be bored, he needs you to be bored, he doesn’t want the excitement that is Y2T! He is insulting you, and you should not take it ever, and I mean e-e-e-e-e-e-ever ag-g-g-g-a-a-a-en! I will promise you that the excitement starts again tonight, for I am the baddest mahma Jahamba! And Y2T has struck a few days early this year!

Y2T leaves to a resounding ovation from the crowd, as the camera cuts to the back.

Sid6.9 (Talking to someone the camera cannot see) Yes I know it will be difficult, but take the damn stick! I’m not letting this bastard ruin my show! Just get his stick, I will worry about the rest!

Just then a few security guards and Sid6.9’s secretary Funk~Chick walk in…

Sid6.9- So I understand that a day ago you were paid by Y2T to take the day off eh?

Security Guard- Umm yes s-s-s-ir he did.

Funk~Chick- But he told us you okayed it!

Security Guard 2- Umm yeah he did.

Sid6.9- Well I’ll tell ya what, why don’t you take tonight off as well.

Security Guards and Funk~Chick all smile at each other and go "All right, thanks boss"

Sid6.9- And while your at it, take the rest of the week off! Ahh hell take the year off!

Security Guard- Wow sir you are really generous.

Sid6.9- Yes I am, because you are all fired! You understand that! Fired! F-I-R-E-D Now take your ungrateful slaking asses and get the hell out of here, NOW!

Securtiy Guards cringe at this, but Funk~Chick just walks up and…

Funk~Chick- Bite Me!!!

Sid6.9- I would if I wasn’t afraid of catching something, skank! Now get the hell out of here!

They all leave but before Funk~Chick turns around and sticks the middle finger up and slaps her ass after kissing her hand.

Back at the announcers booth…

MS- Wow! What words from Y2T, he is really fired up about what has been going on!

BSS- Yeah he is, but what’s up with Sid?!? Steal the stick?!?

MS- Yeah, I’m not sure what that means, but boy what a start to the show! Coincidentally fight fans this segment is brought to you by Chicklets! Cause anything with the word Chick in it has got to be good!

MS- Okay Big Sexy lets tell our viewers a little about each fighter.

BSS- Okay Sidious, our first fighter is the man known as Gunslinger. This fighter lives up to his name, as he likes to sling his guns at his opponents. That is not only an advantage for him, but a big disadvantage as well. For guns were made to be shot, and not thrown. For Gunslinger to win, he will need to keep FO HEAD on the mat. If he allows FO HEAD to move around and keep Gunslinger on the defensive, then the night might not fair to well for the slinger. His finishing move the "Sling Blade Mmmmmm, Hmmmmm" is hopefully one that will end the reign of terror that is FO HEAD!

MS- Wow nice analysts there Big Sexy! Tell the fight fans a little about FO HEAD as well.

BSS- Okay, Gunslingers opponent FO HEAD is the same size as Slinger, but that doesn’t mean nothing here in the death matches. This man needs to concentrate on stopping Slingers biggest attribute in the ability to track his opponents, and if I know FO HEAD, he will pull out all the dirty tricks in the book to stop him. But like we said in the preview show, his biggest disadvantage is to not concentrate on one person and attack others as well, he needs to keep his focus on Gunslinger and not worry about the heckling of fans as they will most certainly be trying to bother him. With his finisher the "Everyone wants Head Spine Crusher" can certainly end this match at any time!

MS- Okay, he sounds like he better keep his focus tonight.

BSS- Yep and with all the hub-bub that has been going on in the War Room lately that may be hard to do that. Hey Sidious did you hear all the damn stupid posts about that 1=.999999(Infinite) thing going around in there last weekend?

MS- Yeah I can’t believe some people can’t see that it equals one.

BSS- What?!? It doesn’t!

MS- Yes it does there Big Sexy!

BSS- No it doesn’t!

MS- Come now Big Sexy, you honestly don’t believe that.

BSS (Folds his arms)- Nope I don’t, and how can 1 equal .99999(Infinite)! I mean look at all them 9’s, now how can 1 ever equal 9?!?

MS- Simple Big Sexy, it’s all about the decimal point.

BSS- Decimal Point! Why what has the damn decimal point have to do with it!

MS- Plenty Big Sexy, but we need to head over to Mother Love, I hear she is with Gunslinger right now.

BSS- No, no, no, I want to know more about this decimal thing. What is it? What does it do? Can it help me in ways no one ever seen?

MS- Later Big Sexy, now lets head to Mother Love.

Mother Love- Thanks guys, and hey Big Sexy, the big momma will show you the decimal point baby, and it’s pink and ohhh so tender!

MS (To Big Sexy)- Heh heh yeah there oh Big one, let her show you the decimal point.

BSS- Oh god no, that’s more like a question mark!

Mother Love- Well Gunslinger, I hear that you are ready to take on FO HEAD! Any thoughts on how you think the fight will go tonight?

Gunslinger (Talking in a raspy very earlish Eastwood voice)- Well there little lady, I certainly can’t wait to meet FO HEAD at high noon.

ML- Umm but it is night time.

GS- It doesn’t matter, night, day. Day, night, I will still track down the FO one and riddle his body with my guns. Not many men do the evil that I have seen, but FO HEAD will certainly know what it means to have the evil place back onto him.

And with that Gunslinger starts to walk away, but just outside the door we see Tridus come by, screaming.

Y2T- No, no, no, they took it, they took it! Where is it, oh I need my stick, I need it.

The cameras go out the door following Y2T who turns around seeing the camera man.

Y2T- You took it didn’t you! * Pointing at the camera man *

The camera shakes from side to side.

Y2T beats the crap outta the camera man looking for his stick.

Y2T- Oh oops, I guess you don’t have it. Umm sorry, about kicking, punching and molesting you, umm and all that other stuff. (Gets upset again) But where is it! Where is my prized possession?!?

Back at the announcers booth.

BSS- But no Sidious, how can one little decimal point do that! It is impossible!

MS- Enough of that Big Sexy, it looks like Tridus is a little upset about his missing stick!

BSS- Fuck his stick! I want to know more about the decimal point!

MS- All right enough Big Sexy, here take these *Hands Big Sexy some blue pills, marked with the name Prozac *

BSS- Will they tell me more about the decimal point?!?

MS- Umm, yeah, yes they will.

BSS (Putting the pills in his mouth)- Oh yeah, I’m there!

MS- Oh I hear Tridus is tearing up the back, lets head back there now!

Deathwish- Ohh, did little oh Tridus lose his ever so precious stick. (Starts laughing hard at him)

Flutie 3:16- Heh heh, yeah Tridus, I heard your stick got jealous and ran off with the spoon, ha ha ha! * Both Deathwish and Flutie fall down laughing hard. *

Y2T- Argghhh, I have to find my stick, my poor precious stick!

Y2T- When I get my stick back Flutie, your ass is mine boy!

Flutie 3:16- Ha ha, yeah right! Hey Tridus (As Y2T walks away) I hear that the janitor has it, and is using it for a good purpose.

Deathwish- Yeah cleaning out the toilets, ha ha ha! * The 2 members start laughing even harder at that one *

Back at the announcers booth.

MS- Wow, I almost thought we would be having a match right there!

BSS- (Very happy looking) Hey Sidous, I still don’t know what the meaning of decimal point is. But man do I feel…………groooooovvvvvvyyyyyy, baby, yeah!

MS- Heh heh that’s okay Big Sexy. And by the way fight fans this segment is brought to you from the good folks at Earners Pharmaceuticals. Cause if Prozac helped Big Sexy, imagine what it can do for some of the other members of the War Room!

BSS- Oh man, I see the colors now, oh man this is sooooo grooovy!

MS- Heh heh, hey I hear that Mother Love has made her way to FO HEAD! Lets get to her for some commentary.

Mother Love- Well FO HEAD, it seems your competitor is ready for the challenge of taking you on tonight. Any thoughts on it?

FO HEAD- Well that lame little turd won’t stand a chance in the ring with me! He fancies himself some damn wild west shot em up cowboy or something. Well come on back to the real world son! There is no OK Corral, there is no damn Wyatt Earp, and you sure the hell are not Clint Eastwood boy! So just remember that cause I’m going to beat the crap out of you! * Smacks the mic back at Mother Love and walks away *

ML- Umm okay, well back to you all.

MS- FO HEAD certainly seems ready, hey Big Sexy!

BSS- Oh yeah, the Fooness is Foing about, heh heh heh (Starts laughing hard.)

MS- Ehh okay there Big Sexy.

BSS- But Sidious, I still don’t know what the decimal point means to 1=.999999(Infinite)

MS- Ahh that’s okay there Big Sexy, here have some more of these. * Hands more Prozac to him *

BSS (Taking the pills)- Oh yeah, it’s party time, woo hoo!

MS- Hey look it’s Gunslinger making his enterance!

Gunslinger makes his way to the ring to the music of Garth Brooks "All my friends in low places."

BSS- Oh oh, I love that song, yes,"and all my friends in low places, where the whiskey drowns, and the beer chases my blues away. And I feel okay." Heh, heh they should change the beer to Prozac cause my blues are gone baby.

No sooner than Gunslinger enters the ring did the music of Juveniles "Back that thang up" starts cranking out.

MS- Well here comes the FO one, but I hear there is some action going on in the back. Lets go back there real quick and find out what is happening.

BSS (Singing)- Tip-toe through the tulips, oh yeah, I tip-toed through the tulips. The two lips of Mary Kate Jackson last night, ha ha ha. * Claps his hands together and laughs *

Back in the back we see Tridus approach a very well dressed Edge standing against the wall.

Y2T- All right Edge, where the hell is my stick! I know you know where it is, and umm nice suit by the way.

Edge- Well, well Y2T, thank you for the compliment about my 5,000 dollar silk suit. But a Jabroni like you would no nothing about that!

Y2T- I don’t care about that, give me back my damn stick! I know you are jealous of Y2T, and you are just a Tridaholic at heart! But I want my damn stick back!

Edge- How dare you speak to Edge this way! You and your fans are nothing but a bunch of rowdy-poo candy asses!

Y2T- Okay, okay Edge, I’m sorry, just please give me back my stick.

Edge- I don’t have your stick! What would the Edge need with a stick that has absolutely no meaning?!?

Y2T- Well it is…

Edge- It doesn’t matter what you think! * The fans cheer as Edge makes that remark * But I do know one thing. I know where you can find it.

Y2T- Okay Edge, spill the beans, I’ve had it up to here * Points to his forehead * with your boring antics! Give me back the stick before I ram my head through your guts!

Edge- Well with an attitude like that, Edge just won’t tell you where to find it.

Y2T (Rubbing his forehead)- Oh, I’m sorry, I am a rowdy-poo candy ass, I smell what the Edge is cooking, I know, I know, I should just go and check myself into the Asskick motel! Please tell me where the stick is.

Edge (Smiling to himself)- Well since I know you do not mean what you just said. The Edge feels you deserve to know where the stick is. Some guy dressed in black took it into that room. * Points at the end of the hallway *

Edge than starts to walk away as Y2T stands there watching him, making fists and mouthed the word "Bastard"

Y2T- (Turns back to the door that Edge pointed at) Time to get my stick! Man in black, get ready for a Y2T attack!

Back inside the ring the announcer dude and Shockwave have entered the ring.

MS- Okay fight fans, we are now getting ready to see this match get started, so lets get to the announcement.

Announcer Dude- Welcome ladies and gentleman to the wonderful and lavish War Room brought to you by the leaders in gaming entertainment Blizzard! * The crowd gives a moderate cheer * This contest is brought to you by Budweiser, undisputed leader in the King of Beers. * All the fans cheer to that, then drink it * So fight fans are you ready! * Very little reaction from the crowd * I said are youuuuuuuuu reeeeeaaaadddyyyyy! * The War Room erupts in a resounding cheer * Your referee for this match is the judge Shockwave! This is the battle of the Wild west man versus the Menace to Society! In this corner we have the man from the wastelands, Gunslinger * The crowd cheers *, and his competitor in this corner is the man from the mean streets is FO HEAD!

The announcer leaves the ring as Shockwave makes his pre-fight instructions.

Shockwave- Okay listen up there, I don’t want no funny stuff. There will be no shootings in my ring, so give them guns Gunslinger!

Gunslinger- What!?!? But these are part of my gimmick! You can’t take away my gimmick!

Shockwave- I don’t care son, give me the guns now! This isn’t no high school so give em to me, you can have em back after the fight!

MS (As Gunslinger hands over his guns)- Oh wow, what a drastic change in this fight. Shockwave took away Gunslingers biggest weapons. Oh man what a slap in the face of Gunslinger.

BSS (Really happy, and relaxing with his feet up on the desk)- Hey lets take the guns and put flowers in them, that would make them pretty, and groovy baby, yeah!

MS- Um well I guess that Big Sexy is not going to be into this match too much. I think I gave him too much happiness.

BSS- (In a doped up persons voice) Oh yeah, violence is so ungroovy, lets all make love, not war, baby! * All the women scream *

MS- Well in your in the wrong place right now Big Sexy, cause there’s the bell and this fight is underway.

The bell sounds as Gunslinger and FO HEAD get ready for battle.

FO- So whatcha gonna do now you Rhine Stone Cowboy wanna be!

GS- Oh I still will kick the cowshit out of you street punk!

FO- Bullcrap! * And charges at Gunslinger *

As FO HEAD reaches Gunslinger he reaches out and tries to tackle him, but Gunslinger spins out of the way causing FO to hit his head on the ring post. As FO HEAD backs out holing his head, Gunslinger kicks him several times in the back of the leg with his steel tipped cowboy boots. FO HEAD hits the ground as Gunslinger steps on top of him.

GS- These boots * Kick to the head * where made * Kick to the shoulder blades * for walking! * Stomps down hard on his lower back * And that’s just what they’ll do. * Kick to the neck * Cause in the Death Match tonight they are walking all over you!

MS- Wow, what a start, Gunslinger is using his shitkickers to kick the shiznit outta FO HEAD!

BSS- Oh wow man, I have never seen such blatant hatred for your fellow man.

MS- Umm yeah, anyways look FO HEAD is trying to get back up.

FO HEAD tries to get up on all fours causing Gunslinger to lose his balance and land straddling FO HEAD.

GS (Uses his spurs and slams them into FO’s side) Ride ‘em cowboy yee-haw!

FO- (Bucks at the spurs hitting his side) Ouch!

FO HEAD bucks around on all fours as Gunslinger holds on, while hitting him several times with his heels in FO HEADS side. After several seconds, Gunslinger falls off, stands up and waves his cowboy hat to the crowd.

MS- Oh wow, 13 seconds, that’s a death match record for competitor riding!

BSS- Heh heh he was riding him!

FO HEAD uses Gunslingers celebrating to grab a lead pipe left by the ring makers and walks up behind Gunslinger and whacks him over the head with it.

MS- Oh man, how can Shockwave allow that!

Shockwave- Hey if it was left here, I’ll allow it!

FO HEAD- How ya going to fit your cowboy hat on now, after that lump comes up, biotch!

FO HEAD grabs Gunslinger by the legs turns him upside down and ties his legs into the ring ropes. He flies to the other side of the ring, bounces of the ropes and runs towards where Gunslinger is tied upside down in the ropes. He slides as he about gets to Gunslinger and kicks him in the head as he slides out of the ring. Gunslinger spins around the ring ropes, landing back inside the ring!

MS- "Heater, heater, heater"! Oh man that was an awesome move! And Gunslinger doesn’t look to be in very good shape either!

BSS- Well I’d say not, I mean try getting kicked in the head sometime. FO HEAD and Gunslinger should just make up and start a team together. We could call it the team of love, yeah that would be cool.

FO HEAD meanwhile while outside of the ring gets into an argument with a gentleman that wanted to know who to get on battle net and play a game.

MS- Oh no, FO better just not worry about the obvious newbie and worry about Gunslinger, cause he is getting up.

Gunslinger slides out of the ring and spins FO HEAD around and punches him in the face. Takes one of his legs and trips him and delivers and elbow to his head on the exposed concrete.

BSS- Oh man dude, that wasn’t very nice. Where was the love in that man?

MS- Ha ha definantly Big Sexy, the only love there was FO HEAD kissing the concrete!

Gunslinger slides FO HEAD back into the ring, and with Shockwave checking on FO HEAD, Gunslinger sneaks around to the confiscation table and grabs his guns.

MS- Uh oh, look out, Gunslinger just grabbed his guns again, Shockwave will not be pleased about this.

BSS- Ahh man, guns is the problem, why can’t we just admit our love, love for everyone.

MS- It’s okay Big Sexy, I and all the fans love you!

BSS- Really?!? Oh Sidious that makes me feel better! I love you too * Reaches over and gives Sidious a hug *

MS- Okay enough of that * Pushes Big Sexy back * I’ve got an image to uphold here.

Gunslinger climbs back into the ring, with FO HEAD just starting to get back up, looking very dazed and confused. Gunslinger starts some fancy twirling with his guns, gives a loud "YaHoo"! Shockwave turns around but before he can do anything, Gunslinger whips his first of three guns at FO HEAD’s head!

FO HEAD (As the gun strikes him in the head)- Ouch!!! Damn it that hurt!

MS- Oh yes, "Sling them guns son" sling em you gunslinger you!

BSS- Oh wow man, where’s the love baby. *Starts singing * Come on everybody, smile on your brother, everybody lets get together and start loving one another right now!

Shockwave- All right son, don’t you…

Gunslinger throws his second gun striking FO HEAD in the chest!

FO HEAD- * Thud * * Gasp * (While FO HEAD holds his chest and falls on his butt trying to take a breath) * Gasp * Guns aren’t * Gasp * supposed to be thrown! * Gasp * Dingleberry! * Gasp *

MS- Oh man look out Gunslinger, Shockwave is really pissed!

Gunslinger ignores Shockwave and gets ready to throw his next gun, but Shockwave is able to grab the gun himself, and a tug of war over the gun ensues!

Shockwave- Listen good boy, give me that damn gun or I’ll disqualify you!

Gunslinger- Never old man! It’s mine, mine you see, and I’m going to throw it, throw it into the air real good ya see son!

As this is going on FO HEAD is able to catch his breath and charge at Gunslinger who has his side to him and not seeing him coming…

FO HEAD- Grrrrrrrrrr…

Gunslinger- (Turns just to see FO HEAD arrive) Crap!

FO HEAD spears gunslinger and drives him into the corner turnbuckle, HARD! He turns him around and FO HEAD starts to spin violently catching Gunslinger in the face several times.

MS- Aw damn it, no, "FO Slap" "FO Slap" no, that’s his setup no!

FO HEAD takes his stunned foe, walks to steps out with him, wraps one leg in front of his and plunges Gunslinger face down into the mat! FO HEAD climbs the ropes, positions himself and leaps from the top. He does a steeple type maneuver as he reaches his peak and dives head first into Gunslingers shoulder blades!

MS- "Everyone wants Head, Spine Crusher" Oh good god no!!!

BSS- Wow, did you see how long he was up there!?! That was pretty.

Shockwave checks on Gunslinger and raises FO HEAD’s hand in victory…

MS- Oh man, I thought Gunslinger had him too, oh man what a pity. Well we need to give it up to the winner! And your winner is FO HEAD! * To a resounding choruses of boos from the fans *

BSS- Hey Sidious, what about the damn decimal point, what does it mean?!?

MS- Uh oh, it looks like the Prozac is wearing off! Well fight fans this was a… What’s that?!? We are getting word that there is something big happening in the back! Lets go there now!

We cut to the back to the door Y2T entered to hear violent sounds emanating from within. Suddenly the door pops open and a very bloody and beaten Tridus comes flying out and lands on the concrete unconscious! Then, like a bad nightmare, and trust me folks if you saw him it would be, Sid6.9 (Smiling and carrying the 100 list Tridus Silly Stick) comes walking out. Drops the stick on Y2T.

Sid6.9- See ya next week in the ring there buttercup!

Sid6.9 walks off leaving just a shot of Tridus laying in a bloody pool!

MS- Oh god good no! How could Sid6.9 do that! Y2T never deserved that! You bastard Sid!

BSS- Heh heh, looks like Y2T got his stick back though, heh heh the hard way!

MS- Yeah he sure did, well it will make for an interesting Monday Fight Fans, stay tuned, until then. I’m Master Sidious.

BSS- And I’m Big Sexy Stefan, the Love Child, peace brothers, saying…

Both Together- Good Fight, Good Night!

As the credits roll…

Announcer Dude- The Friday Night War Room Death Matches are brought to you in part by Weird Ass Sports, a subsidiary to Tridus Inc. The Inc. with all the love baby!

Any and all rebroadcasts are prohibited without written approval and consent from Sid6.9 Enterprises.

Editors Note: I would like to thank Tyrant (TOA) for the inspiring opening segment. I hope you like it Tyrant.