Fireworks shoot off, the crowd rises to their feet. The music of Nirvana’s "Smells Like Teen Spirit" cranks outta the house speakers. The fans wave their homemade signs at the cameras, some read; "NWD---Now We’re Dead", "NetRanger #1 fan", "Big Sexy I missed my period", and "Will Someone Give me my Liver Back." The cameras pan up to the darkened stage where 2 figures take their seats.

Master Sidious- Welcome fight fans * The fans cheer uncontrollable * I am Master Sidious the Master of the Mayhem, and with me as always is the "Dude of Dudleyville", the "Maytag Man", and the man that found Jimmy Hoffa under his car seat! Rstefan01!

Big Sexy Stefan- That’s right fight fans I am Big Sexy Stefan The Human Love Machine! * All the fans cheer for him screaming "It’s Big Sexy Time, so lets get the groove on!" * Ahhh that’s right fight fans Big Sexy Daddy likes to get his groove on, and all the ladies can move to my groove baby, yeah! But this isn’t time to do the freaky-deaky cause it’s time for…

Both Together- Friday Night War Room Death Match!

MS- Wow, what a contest we are going to have tonight! It is Double, Trouble Friday fight fans! In the opening bout we are going to see Kramer vs. British in a steel cage! Then the second match will be a 3-way dance of death featuring the NetRangers!

BSS- Oh man, what the heck Sidious, I can’t believe we are doing the NetRanger thing! I still don’t un…

Suddenly, like the breaking of the dawn, the music of Kid Rocks "Bawitdidaba" starts cranking out from the house speakers.

MS- Oh man, don’t tell me, yes there he is, the man is here!

BSS- Oh wow, heh heh, Edge is here!

Edge makes his way slowly to the ring, occasionally looking at the fans from one side to the other. He makes his way upon the apron, then walks over to a turnbuckle, climbs up half-way, closes his eyes and smells the air as the fans go absolutely bonkers!

Edge finally makes his way into the ring, and takes the microphone sticking out of his pants…

Edge: Finally The Edge has come back, to the War Room! * The fans go deafening at his opening line * Now You are probably wondering why The Edge has come back to this candy ass promotion! Well I’ve been watching the matches all these weeks and all I see is crap! We now have some Jabronies running around in here screaming how they are the NWD, and how they are going to take over, whaa whaa whaa, yonk, yonk, yonk. Well the Edge says this! I will take this Jabronies, tell them to drive their rented Yugo down Jabroni Drive, take a left at Know Your Role Boulevard, and check their asses into the Smack Down Hotel. Where they will be greeted by a little bell boy, you know they guy with the stupid red hat on, he will take their baggage, take them up to room 69. Let them into the room, wait ‘til they get comfortable, then I will walk in, and the Millions and I mean * The fans scream "Millions"* of the Edges fans will see me take the complementary bowl of fruit that is in every room. I’ll take the bowl of fruit, look at Flutie, Peak_Man, and Death~Lizard, take the Cheeries, the Bananas, the grapes, the Pineapple, turn them all sideways. And stick them straight up their candy asses! * The fans go absolutely crazy as he said that * If you Sm…

Suddenly on the Death Match-O-Vision there is a countdown clock with the words Y2T above it.

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

0…

Fireworks shoot off as the house lights darken. The music "Enter Sandman" cranks out. A silouhette can be seen standing in the doorway.

BSS- Oh yes, it’s him Sidious, it’s him, oh man what a night we are already having!

MS- Yep, and we haven’t even had the re-cap from last weeks matches yet, not that we need to now since The Edge has already gave us a run down.

The house lights come on as Y2T turns around and steps forward. Stops at the top of the ramp and looks over to his left with a smirk on his face. He brings his hand up to his face and kisses his hand then proceeds to blow it to the fans as he turns his head from the left to the right. Meanwhile The Edge is standing in the ring with a raised eyebrow at the sight of Tridus. Y2T brings the mic up to his mouth…

Y2T- Welcome to The Tridus Death Matches * The fans cheer, not as loud as Edge, but still they cheer *

Well for the last 5 minutes I have been hearing this person out here talking, and I knew that I had to come out here and save all the Tridaholics from the boredom that is him! * Pointing at Edge with the 100 list Tridus stick * I had to come out here and save this segment because everyone was falling to sleep! The Death Matches are a place needing excitement, excitement that only the "Iootolah of Rock and Rolla" can provide! We are in dire need here for a hero, a hero to destroy this NWD, and relax my Tridaholics, for your hero has arrived! With my stick, and my superior skill, I shall dispatch this wanna be Y2T’s! So Edge, stop boring the fans with your false promises, and false accusations. For I am the hero the Death Match fans want to see, I am Y2T…

The Edge brings the mic back up to his face.

Edge- You have the nerve to come out on The Edges time, and insult him?!? And you don’t even have the courtesy to tell The Edge what your name is?

Y2T- My name is…

Edge- It doesn’t matter what your name is! * The fans erupt into laughter at this *

Y2T gets a very puzzled and pissed look on his face.

Edge- So know your role! And shut your mouth!

Y2T gets increasingly pissed and raises his hands trying to calm down the fans.

Edge- You come out here and say to me that you are a hero?!? You say that I am boring The Edges fans?!? You seem to think that you can tell The Edge what to do?!? Well I don’t care what you think! You think The Edge is impressed because you beat some Jabroni named H-H! You come out here and say some things, as if The Edge really cares! All the millions and the millions of The Edges fans are screaming his name, "Edge, Edge"! * Stops as the fans take over. * So just watch yourself there, cause I will lay the smack down on your ruddy-pooh candy ass as well! If you smell-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la what The Edge (Pulls down sunglasses and his head, raises the eyebrow) Is cooking.

And with that Y2T has a temper tantrum on the raised platform, points the stick at Edge and screams some unintelligible words at him. Then leaves, as well does The Edge.

MS- Wow, what a pair, wouldn’t it be cool if they teamed up to take out those NWD bozo’s there Sexy?

BSS- Heh, heh yep, but I don’t think they can get along.

MS- Okay, well, I for the record hope that they can destroy this NWD threat quickly. I have a bad feeling about this whole thing.

BSS- By the way fight fans this segment is brought to you by Tampax Tampons, cause sometimes some forumers are so whiny you would think they are women.

MS- Okay I hear that Mother Love is with our first competitor tonight Kramer!

Mother Love- Thanks guys, and Big Sexy did you get my special e-mail?

Big Sexy calls up his e-mail while Master Sidious moves over to see, he opens his e-mail…

BSS- Oh good god no! I just went blind! Oh man why didn’t she have a warning on that, that objects that are fat will appear fat on your screen!

MS- Oh my lord, heh that is one big ass.

BSS- Yeah it should have "Enter at Your Own Risk" tattooed to it too.

Mother Love (Talking to Kramer as he is drinking a Double mocha chocolate cappuccino) Well there Kramer it looks like you have one heck of a match for tonight. Any comments?

Kramer- (Jittery from all the coffee he had drank) You’re right about that! What’s with this death match thing? Is it just a clever gimmick? I mean we don’t actually die do we?

ML- Well actually yes, it’s a fight to the death!

K- Oh man, oh man, I should have never made that post, I stayed up for 3 days and I just wanted a little attention! Oh man I need to get outta here, oh man, oh no.

He walks over to the door and opens it up to find 6 men with cattle prods poking him back into the room.

Zap!

K (Getting up from the floor)- Oh dear me, oh man, oh man, I didn’t mean it, really I didn’t! (Starts crying).

ML- Well umm, back to you guys (Tries to console Kramer)

MS- Well it looks like Kramer is a little upset over the proposition of having to take on British!

BSS- Heh heh that’s what happens when you flame, you will have to fight it out in the death match, even if you didn’t mean it.

MS- You’re right about that there Big Sexy. Tell the fight fans about the fight, and how they should fight.

BSS- Okay there Sidious. First off I think Kramer is going to definently need to use mobility to his advantage. The bigger lumbering British is a little on the slow side, but still can have moments of movement. Kramer needs to confuse British to the point of frustration. It is showed that British, when confused or frustrated, is a very incompetent fighter. For British it is plain simple. He needs to trap his foe, and with them being put into a cage, that shouldn’t be a problem. And with that he can treat Kramer to what it means to be a little white boy stuck in a black mans cell on Rikers Island.

MS- Yep I’d say that about covers it. Hey I hear now that Mother Love has made her way to British! Lets go to her and get some commentary from the big man.

Mother Love- Well your competitor tonight seems a little worried about facing you. Is there any chance of you letting Kramer off the hook?

British- Well they my darlin’ my answer would have to be, umm, let see, umm how’s it would be a bloody cold day in hell before that little punk slag gets away from me. He can run from the British all he wants, but like the French learned, running will only get you so far. Tonight you can be looking for a total squash over that little punk. * Turns towards camera * Tonight Kramer, * Picks up a 2x4 and breaks it in his bare hands * I’ll break you just like that!

Meanwhile in Kramers locker room we see him after watching British break the 2x4 start shaking violently and start turning circles going.

Kramer- Dear me, oh dear me, oh good lord I’m gonna die, oh man, oh man!

Mother Love- But don’t you think it is a little unfair to take advantage of a guy just cause he made a mistake? Don’t you have any compassion for him?

British- Baby this is the War Room, there is no mistakes made, you either flame or be flamed, and after tonight, that little man over in the other locker room won’t be flaming shit in a bag! As for compassion, yeah well, I will be compassionate to COMPact his ASS IN the ring tonight!

Mother Love- Okay thanks British well back to you guys.

MS- Wow, looks like British really does mean to kick the crap outta Kramer tonight!

BSS- Yeah and judging from what I’ve seen, Kramer doesn’t have a snowballs chance in hell it seems.

MS- Okay it looks like Kramer is coming out to the ring now!

BSS- You mean being carried out, look!

Kramer makes his way to the ring via 6 security guards carrying him kicking and screaming.

MS- Wow he is screaming so loud, I can’t even hear his music!

BSS- Heh heh, I know what the music is, it’s the "Bitch is Back" by Elton John!

The security guards throw Kramer in the ring who gets back up and tries to climb out only to be met by the stun gun of a security guard.

BSS- Boy he will try anything to get out of this fight!

MS- Yeah well it’s to late now cause here comes The British!

British runs towards the ring and gets there so fast, the music guy couldn’t even cue his music.

BSS- Wow he is in the cage already and we don’t even have our referee out here yet, ha ha!

MS- Yep I wonder where the heck Shockwave is?

BSS- Here he comes!

Shockwave runs and gets into the ring and gets in the way of British before he can get his hands on Kramer.

Shockwave- Okay there son, you just wait until I tell you to get it on!

British- Oh sorry about that there Governor, just want to get starting to stomp a mud hole in him! * Points at Kramer who is cowering and shaking in a corner. *

Announcer Dude- Hello fight fans, and welcome to the fabulous War Room Forum! * The fans go nuts, or maybe they were throwing nuts, I can’t remember * This fight is sponsored in part by the good people at Blizzard, the people who delay all their games just for you! * Okay that’s right they were throwing nuts * Tonights battle features 2 men that will finish their grudge match inside this steel cage! Now I ask you fight fans, are you ready! * The fans cheer * I said are……you……ready! Then lets get r-r-r-r-r-r-e-e-e-e-a-a-a-a-d-d-d-d-y-y-y-y to rumbleeeeeeeeeee! * The fans go absolutely mad with cheers * In this corner weighing in at 215 pounds, he is the ambassador of evil, he is Kramer! * The fans mildly cheer * And his competitor, the man that just doesn’t pound his opponents, he obliterates them, at over 367 pounds, he is pound for pound the best big man in the sport, he is British * The fans cheer wildly *.

MS- Okay, wow, that is probably the best announcer we have ever had, hey there Big Sexy!

BSS- Yep, after Beavis and Butthead, anyone looks good! Hey Shockwave is giving the instructions to the fighters.

Shockwave- Okay listen up there girls, this is a fight to the death understand Kramer. I don’t want to see no sissy crap, I want a tough, mean ass dirty fight! Obey my instructions at all times! If you feel like your going to be sick, just don’t puke on me, understand! I want a fluffy white and pink bunny for Christmas. So lets get it on! * The fans cheer as the bell is sounded for the fight to get underway *

MS- Okay there’s the bell, and man look at Kramer run!

BSS- Holy shit you ain’t kidding there either, man he got his nikes on tonight!

Kramer is running away from British who gives chase. Finally after 5 minutes of running the bigger British is seriously winded.

MS- Oh what strategy there, he ran so much it tired out British.

BSS- Yep and it looks like Kramer is moving in to get a shot or 2 in, look!

Kramer comes up behind British and kicks him 3 times in the crown jewels!

BSS- Oh, ouch, oh man, I felt that, ooooooo I think I need to lay down.

MS- Yeah! But look, British is smiling?!?

British turns around smiling at Kramer. Kramer sees this and backs up a few feet.

British- You don’t think that is going to hurt my now do you little man? Well go ahead kick me here. * Points at his nut sack * Come on do it!

Kramer just vehemently shakes his head no.

British- I said KICK ME IN THE JIMMY!

BSS- Oh what the heck, he wants Kramer to kick him there again?!?

MS- Oh man I hope he doesn’t.

Kramer scared, does as British says, gets a running start at British and kicks him in the groin again.

BSS- Ow, oh god!

MS- Oooooooo, oooooooooo * While holding his own testes *

British (With a red face) Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-s-s-s-s-s-s-s!!! Do it AGAIN!

BSS- Please no, don’t do it again, I beg you no!

MS- I concur, this is just not right! No man should be standing after that! Damn it Shockwave stop him from doing it again.

But Shockwave is on the mat, holding his one-eyed wonder as well, and not a very pretty color either.

Kramer backs up even farther and runs at British, jumps up and delivers a deadly drop kick to Britishs punching bag!

British- Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s! Now it is my turn douchebag!

Kramer- Yikes, no please no, I bruise easily, please don’t hurt me! * While running around inside the steel cage *

Unfortunately for Kramer though, cause British finally gets a hold of his smaller foe, picks him up and performs a perfect belly to back suplex, causing Kramer to crash head first hard into the mat.

BSS (Puffing hard after seeing the British bells get tolled)- Oh that was, * huff, huff * a well preformed move their * Huff, huff * wouldn’t you say Sidious?!?

But Sidious doesn’t answer after passing out from the opening of the Nutcracker earlier this year.

British meanwhile gets up and kicks Kramer into the cage, and proceeds to slam fists into Kramers back as he is covering his head and face.

Shockwave (Backing British away)- Okay there son, lets let the sissy get up first, this is boring watching you punch his back. And no more Jimmy shots, understand!

British- Sure their Governor!

MS (Still a little groggy) Oh man, that was just not right, what did I miss?

BSS- Well British is mopping the floor with Kramer right now.

Kramer finally gets up and runs between the legs of British, but falls. British jumps on the opposite ropes and does a complete summersault landing an elbow on top of Kramers head, leaving a gush of blood to shoot out of his head!

MS- (Slamming his fist on the desk) Oh hell yes, the "Head Bashing Bloody Good Time their Governor"!

BSS- Wow, and did you see the elevation he had from springing off the ropes that high!

British picks up Kramer once again and while holding him by the collar he kicks him in the bum sending Kramer screaming like a bitch to the roof of the steel cage!

BSS- Oooooo (Looking away) that steel cage has absolutely no give!

MS- No it doesn’t, and from the looks of it, British looks to be getting ready to finish off his opponent.

British- Okay you punk slag, ready to see the gates of hell?

Kramer (While backing up holding a hand up in front of him)- Please, please, just hear me out before killing me, please. I didn’t mean to be mean to you all. I had a really bad day, I know that is no reason, but my day was really bad. I lost my job at the car wash, my girlfriend left me, my mother died, and for food I had to eat my little pug nose schnauzer Pongo (Starts crying)! And now you are going to kill me! Please I didn’t mean to offend you, please, just let me go. I promise you will never see me again. Come on please, I’ll do anything to make up for it.

British- Really your mum died * Kramer shakes his head yes *, and you lost your girl * Looks down and seems sad *. * Sniff * My girl left me just last week too. She said I didn’t take her serious enough, that I didn’t pay attention to her. And I lost my mum 2 months ago * Starts bawling like a baby *

Kramer- Yeah that’s what my girl said too. (Gets up off the mat.)

British puts an arm around Kramer, and they start to walk to the steel cage door.

BSS- What the hell is going on! Kill him British, kill him!

MS- Oh man this is a sad day indeed for the death match my friends. How could 2 people that hated each other suddenly have their arms around each other. This is pathetic!

British- You know you aren’t such a bad guy, sorry I kicked you in the bum!

Kramer (With his arm still around British)- Oh that’s okay. Oh hey I have something else to tell you.

British- * Sniff * Yeah what’s that?

Kramer- (Moves to Britishs ear) I lied!

And grabs him by the hair, intertwines one of his legs around Britishs legs and swings the big man back and up into the air, crashing hard on to the mat!

MS- Oh that dirty little bastard, he used Britishs emotions against him! Man what a move though, Russian leg sweeps always get ya!

BSS- Yep, gotta hand it to Kramer, he used the emotions to get the advantage.

Kramer now runs and climbs the ropes swinging out over British, who is still on the mat groggy, and lets go landing on British with his knee to his face.

BSS- Yes! That’s the "Kramers Knee Cream"! And judging from our vantagepoint it looks like he broke his nose!

MS- Yep and it looks like he may be setting up British for his finisher! Man he is slugging Britishs head hard with his knee, over, and over, and over, and over again!

Just then though 2 men jump over the railing and kick the crap out of the six guards at the door. Steal the key and climb into the ring.

BSS- Umm, who are those 2 guys getting into the ring?

MS- I think, yes, it’s Ninja E and Deathwish! What are they doing here?!? Oh man watch out Kramer!

BSS- What have you lost your mind Sidious?!? You’re warning Kramer.

MS- Oh yeah, what am I thinking.

Ninja E qucikly grabs and knocks out Shockwave. Ninja E and Deathwish then come up behind Kramer, and with a perfect scissor kick to Kramers head from Ninja E, and a Death Wish Choke Slam, Kramer is down in the ring unconscious.

MS- Oh man, what a duo, they just cleaned Kramers clock for him!

BSS- Yep and look, British is getting back up, as well as Shockwave!

Ninja E and Deathwish depart the cage and stand ringside while British gets up. Britsh picks up Kramer, and with one big hand comes crashing down on Kramers head spliting it into 2.

MS- Oh the "British Pound", "British Pound", "British Pound"!

Shcokwave checks on Kramer, then walks over and raises Britishs hand, as Ninja E and Deathwish make their way back into the ring.

MS- And your winner, by way of outside interference is British!

BSS- Yeah but look, it doesn’t appear that Ninja E and Deathwish are finished, they’re moving on British!

Just then the music of "VooDoo Child" by Jimmy Hendrix hits the War Room.

MS- What the… Oh good no not them!

BSS- Oh jesus, it’s the NWD.

Yep, the NWD makes their way out to the ring, Flutie 3:16, Peak Man, and Death~Lizard make their way to the ring. They climb up the steps, and enter the cage locking themselves inside, but not before Shockwave could get out.

MS- Oh man don’t tell me we got an impromptu match here do we?

Death~Lizard pulls out a microphone…

DL- Okay listen up. This here is the NWD’s ring, not yours. We are here to take over, and take over we will. Now you men are big stars here. But there is only room for the NWD stars, so it’s time, time for you all to either join us or meet your maker * Points at Ninja E, Deathwish, and British *.

Ninja E swipes the mic from his hands…

Ninja E- I don’t think you have the power to take us three out! * Steps in front of DeathWish and British * We are the true champions of the ring. And we don’t need no stinking likes of the NWD!

BSS- Yes! You tell him Ninja, oh man I used to hate him, but I’m starting to like him now!

MS- Heh heh yeah, time the NWD met their… Hey what the hell! No damn it, no! Oh no!

While Ninja E kept talking both Deathwish and British pull off their shirts to reveal in giant black and blue letters N-W-D! Deathwish grabs his partner and falls back onto the mat with him!

MS- Oh no! The "Deathwish Death Trap"! No, no, no, why are you doing this Deathwish, why!

British picks up Ninja E and starts playing a game of catch with Peak Man, punching him once everytime the catch him.

BSS- Oh man, poor Ninja, where the hell is Tridus and Edge, they should be out here trying to help Ninja E.

Peak Man-(while tossing around Ninja E) Duh-huh, Peak like new rubber ball, duh-huh!

BSS- Heh it looks like Peak is now finally able to speak at least!

MS- Well he is still only 22 days old! But damn it stop it, you’re hurting him! Oh my, no, no, don’t do it!

All four members excluding Death~Lizard grab one arm and one leg a piece, and on the count of 3, rip Ninja E’s arms and legs out of their sockets. * The Fans boo relentlessly throughout this entire display *

Flutie 3:16- Shut the hell up, or I’ll come out there and smack you around there Slap-nuts! We told ya we would be back. Back in the Black and Blue baby! Now you all have been warned! The NWD is gonna roll over everyone! Right up to the top!

Death~Lizard takes the mic from Flutie…

DL- Ha, ha, ha, we told you we would be back! Now with our new editions in Deathwish and British we are now unstoppable! Look at the size of these men! No one, I repeat no one can stop us now! The New World Disorder is taking over, and your asses are on the line!

Tosses the mic to Peak Man…

Peak Man- Duh-huh Peak Man like meat! * British grabs the mic from Peak Man *

British- Listen up sissies, cause it is plain and simple. British isn’t here for your candy asses, he is here for himself! I will do what’s necessary to get to the top. And if I have to step on a few heads along the way, the so much better!

British hands the mic to Deathwish…

DW- Heh heh, I carried that flake Ninja E all his career. He was nothing but dead weight on me and where I want to go. So I got rid of the weight and now Ninja E is just plain d-e-a-d! This is the NWD and we are going to stomp a mud hole in each and every one of you! * Points at the camera * Edge and Tridus, don’t worry bitches, we are coming for your ass! Cause we are the game, and you ain’t nothing but pawns in it.

Flutie gets the mic once again…

Flutie 3:16- And if you don’t like it, we got 2 words for ya, "Suck Me"!!!

The NWD makes there way out of the ring and start heading back to the back.

MS- God damn it, damn them, what the hell are we going to do now!?!

BSS- Start looking for new jobs? I wonder if the NWD needs a good play-by-play man!

MS- Oh you can’t be serious Big Sexy, you don’t want to join up with them!

BSS- Oh don’t worry Sidious I’ll make sure to put a good word in for you too. Now to go find them, I’ll be back in a few.

Big Sexy gets up from the announcers booth and makes his way to the back.

MS- (Looking down) Oh man, what now, well fight fans we have already had a hell of a show, and we aren’t done yet. The next match of the night is the Netrangers battle royal. For more on this, lets take you to our home studio audience where Sid6.9 is standing by. Maybe we can get his take as well about the new developments with the NWD. Sid you there?

Sid6.9- Yep sure am Sidious. Wow, what a first match, but I am troubled now with the NWD. It seems they have taken another 2 War Room Warriors and killed another one. I am going to get to the bottom of this, real quick!

MS- That’s good to hear cause personally they need to be taken out and smashed in the head with a tree limb!

Sid6.9- Well we will see there Sidious, anyways it is almost time there for the NetRanger battle royal. This should be interesting as I’ve seen all 3 fighters and they look the same! I tried to get them to dress different so it would be easier to identify them. But alas they wouldn’t do it. So Sidious you’ll have to do the best ya can with identfying them, okay.

MS (Looks down)-It will be difficult, but I think I can manage. Umm hey Sid, have you thought about the raise I asked for?

Sid6.9- Uh what was that Sidious? You are breaking up. * As Sid makes crackling noises into his hand *

MS- Come on, I work hard up here, I want a raise?!?

Sid6.9- * Making louder crackling noises * Umm can’t hear you anymore Sidious, have a good match.

Sid6.9 disappears from the screen.

MS-(Under his breath) Damn him, ungrateful bastard. Okay fight fans I see that NetRanger is making his way out!

NetRanger comes out to the theme from the Lone Ranger! But 2 more NetRangers follow suit-walking right behind him.

MS- Oh what the hell, they all look the same! How am I supposed to tell them apart!

The 3 NetRangers make their way into the ring, and Big Sexy makes his way back to the booth with his underwear wrapped on top of his head like a turban!

MS- What the heck happened to you Big Sexy?!? I guess their answer wasn’t what you wanted, eh, heh heh.

BSS- Umm they said they would think about it. What is going on?!?

MS- Well the next fight is going on!

BSS- Uhhh Sidious did you notice that there is triplets in the ring!

MS- Uh huh, it’s the NetRangers, and they are ready to party like it’s Nineteen Ninety-Nine!

BSS- Umm but I thought you said there was one real one, and 2 fakes?!?

MS- Yep.

BSS- But damn it, there’s three of em in there?!?

MS- Yeah the NetRangers.

BSS- But if there is 3 NetRangers, which one is the real one?

Sidious shrugs.

BSS- Oh well this is just perfect! First you tell me that there won’t be 3 NetRangers, well 1 real and 2 fake! And now you’re saying there is 3 of them! Man this is just a bad nightmare!

MS- Not now Big Sexy cause there’s the bell.

And with that the 3 Net Rangers go flying at one another. The first one jumps over the other NetRanger, making the third clothesline the second. The first in turn drops the second with a perfectly executed spinning heal kick.

MS- Oh man what action so far, NetRanger hit NetRanger with a clothesline from his mommas garage, while NetRanger hit NetRanger with a great spin wheel kick!

BSS- What the hell are you talking about?!?

MS- Just go with it Big Sexy, all will be well, at least we can’t lose by predicting a NetRanger victory!

BSS- Heh, oh yeah, go NetRanger! (Sarcastically)

NetRanger 1 grabs NetRanger 3 and slings him into the ropes. NetRanger 2 meanwhile climb the top rope and comes off with a Moonsault into a missle drop kick into NetRanger3. NetRanger1 comes flying off the ropes and delivers a terrific Elbow to the lower back of NetRanger 3.

MS- Wow, what a match, NetRanger hit that flying sumo elbow drop like a true champ on NetRanger.

BSS- Yeah, yippee (Sarcastically) Man I’m going to get a drink, I’ll be back.

MS- But you’ll miss all the great excitement!

Big Sexy waves a hand back at him.

NetRangers 1 and 2 pick up 3, toss him into the air, but on his way back down he performs the splits catching the other 2 square in the jaw knocking them to the mat. NetRanger3 climbs the nearest rope and springboards into the air, doing a 1 ½ tuck into a ½ pike going cleanly into NetRanger 1 face.

MS- Oh hell yeah, I haven’t seen that move in ages! Wow what a fight!

Big Sexy lumbers back with some popcorn and a soda.

BSS- Man this is still going on?!? Damn it!

MS- Yep but look!

NetRanger3 and 1 pick up 2 and run back off the ropes, dive up into the air and with a quick move put 2’s head between 3’s legs, while 1 pushes up on his legs. And crash down onto the mat, crushing his larynx.

MS- Oh man, that is it for NetRanger, he is dead! But there is 2 still left.

BSS- Damn it, my shoes untied. * Big Sexy leans over to tie his shoe *

In the ring the 2 NetRangers turn to face each other.

NetRanger 1- Damn it stop using my name! I’m the true NetRanger!

NetRanger 2- As well you are! I’m sorry maybe Bandwidth can teach you some manners!

And with that NetRanger 2 morphs into Bandwidth.

Big Sexy comes back up from tying his shoe.

BSS- Hey what happened?!? I though there were 2 NetRangers in there?!?

MS- There still is Big Sexy, oh man what a fight!

BSS- Yeah but I see some other dude in there?

MS- Nope it’s the same guy, he just looks different now!

BSS- Ehhh yeah!

Bandwidth dives at NetRanger who moves just in time. Swings around and kicks one of Bandwidths legs out from underneath him.

NetRanger- Ha ha got you now imposter! Time to die!

And with that he flies off the ropes and delivers a knee to Bandwidths back!

MS- Ohhhh what a backbreaker knee drop of devestation! That has got to hurt!

BSS- Heh heh yeah, it looks like NetRanger has won! (Swings his arm and knocks over his popcorn) Ahhh! My popcorn, my sweet, sweet popcorn! (Bends over to pick some up)

MS- Oh my god he is getting up!

As NetRanger thinks he has won does not notice his new competitor getting up. NetRanger turns around startled.

NetRanger- Oh damn, you’re, oh hell.

Protoss_King_- Heh heh heh foolish imbecile! I shall now crush you like a flabby grape!

Big Sexy gets back up from retrieving his popcorn.

BSS- Umm, errr, now who the hell is that!

MS- He is NetRanger!

BSS- I know he is NetRanger! But who is the other guy!

MS- Umm, NetRanger?!?

BSS- Why are you asking me! What the hell is going on, I feel like I’m living in a damn Kookoo clock!

Protoss_King_ charges at NetRanger who is unable to swerve the large reach of the King. He gets batted down to the ground where Protoss_King_ picks up his wavering foe and drives him head first into the corner turnbuckle. But as luck would have it, NetRanger is able to position himself to miss the turnbuckle causing Protoss_King_ to ram into the turnbuckle himself. With Protoss_King_ falling back to the mat, NetRanger quickly climbs the ropes, jumps and connects both feet onto Protoss_Kings_ chest.

MS- Oh yeah the Bunny Rabbit Stomp! Well this fight has to be over now!

BSS (Turns angrly to Sidious)- Hey what did I tell you about using that word Bunny Rabbits! You know I hate all Bunny Rabbits!

Meanwhile in the ring, NetRanger has climbed the ropes in certain celebration when his foe regains his feet once again.

MS- Oh my god no, he can’t be here!

Big Sexy turns towards the ring!

BSS- Yikes! Everyone run, he’s back oh dear lord he is back!

NetRanger turns around to see a short black kid with wire rim glasses on staring back at him.

NetRanger (Laughs)- Ha ha and who are you supposed to be, ha ha!

Masta Fujji- Well I am your worst nightmare son.

And with that Masta Fujji dives at NetRanger who is laughing to hard to see him coming. He spikes NetRanger into the mat, driving all the air out of his lungs.

MS- Oh man what a spike, thank god that’s still NetRanger though!

BSS- What the hell you mean NetRanger! That is Masta Fujji!

Masta Fujji grabs up both NetRangers legs, twists his free leg around one of his arms and…

Masta Fujji- This be for the homies in da hood!

And cranks down twisting NetRanges body into a pretzel with blood shooting everywhere.

MS- "Harlem Nights Drive-By", "Harlem Nights Drive-By" Oh man he just ripped poor NetRangers legs off, oh dear lord this isn’t right!

BSS- Damn right ii isn’t right! Was Masta Fujji supposed to win?!?

MS- Don’t know! * Pulls out the script *

MS- Yep it says so right here NetRanger Masta Fujji wins!

BSS- Well I’ll be damned! He look it is NetRanger! He’s still alive, but where did Fujji go?!?

MS- That was NetRanger all along Big Sexy! He is an imposter!

BSS- Well I should say so!

MS- Well your winner is NetRanger!

BSS- Ehhhh, okay?

MS- Until next week fight fans, I’m Master Sidious!

BSS- And I think I will still be Big Sexy, saying…

Both Together- Good Fight, good night!

Announcer (As the credits roll) This has been a presentation of Sid6.9 Weird Ass Sports, a subsidiary to Tridus Inc. the Inc that never dries.