NOTE: The following post is "in character," and does not 
reflect my true opinions about anyone mentioned.


*It's the day after the Death Match, and Tridus has since come 
out for two interviews after being brutally beaten at said event. 
In the interviews, he introduced his new bodyguard, Styx, and 
beat up a hidden cameraman, leaving a serious threat towards 
Sid6.9.*

*Tridus had just left the stage as the fans, who seemingly live 
in the Death Match arena, went to buy something for breakfast at 
the consession stands... when the lights go out. The fans all 
rush back to their seats and surround the ring and isle as a 
spotlight appears at the top of the stage. Then, all of a sudden, 
"Bawitdaba" by Kid Rock blares over the PA system as 
fireworks go off, and the fans cheer insanely loud. Edge appears 
at the top of the ramp, dressed in his nice dark gray suit with a 
black tie that has the word "EDGE" written on it 
vertically in silver, pointy letters. Edge stands atop the 
platform and brings the mic to his mouth, as the fans grow 
silent, but quickly begin to cheer and repeat every catchphrase 
with Edge.*

Edge: Finally, Edge HAS come BACK to the War Room! Week after 
week after week, Edge's millions... and millions... of fans have 
to come out here and listen to Y2T cry like the little beotch 
that he is! Well, Edge says this: Tridus, you can always talk a 
good game, but when it comes down to it, you are nothing more 
than a little roody poo candy ass that would piss his own pants 
if he ever had to get into the ring with THE MOST electrifying 
man in forum entertainment today!

*The fans cheer.*

Edge: And what do you do? You prove Edge right because you went 
out and hired the best bodyguard that money could buy because you 
know that anyone out in the back would like to kick your ass if 
they were given the opportunity! And instead of face Sid6.9 like 
a man, you have tocry and hire someone to watch your back and 
fight your battles for you! Well, Edge would never, and EDGE 
MEANS NEVER, need someone to watch his back, because Edge goes 
out there week after week and proves just why he is the people's 
choice, the people's champ, but most importantly - no, not that, 
but rather, the CORPORATE champion!

*The fans give a mixed reaction.*

Edge: Damn right! You see, Edge has been getting a little more 
sick each and every week he has to come out here and let that 
little piece of trash Tridus get cheered when he is nothing more 
than an over-hyped piece of monkey crap! *Edge points at the 
fans.* Each and every one of you cheer him when he comes out here 
with that damn stick, and you cheer him when he beats up the 
promotor, and you cheer him when he runs away like a little 
bitch! Well, Edge thinks that Y2T can take that stick, turn that 
sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up - STYX'S ASS!

*The fans laugh and cheer with their favourite cathphrase.*

Edge: Hey! Edge didn't give you pieces of trash the right to 
cheer or laugh! In fact, who are you people? What are your names? 
IT DOESN'T MATTER! Tridus, if these are your people, then maybe 
Edge doesn't want to be the people's champ, but the corporate 
champ! You see, Y2T, you seem to be biting the hand that feeds 
you, which is the hand of Sid6.9. I am not going to kiss Sid's 
ass, but I'll be damned if I disrespect the man that built this 
industry into what it is today! Sid is not only responsible for 
making this business successful, but also for making you, me, and 
everyone in the back, into the big stars they are today! And if 
you want to be stupid enough to go against the promoter, that's 
not only your problem, but Edge's problem!


Edge: So what Edge is going to do is this: Edge is going to make 
himself the special guest referee for that match. And if you 
think Edge is going to be impartial, you are pretty stupid for 
even saying that! Because Edge is going to be partial towards 
Sid6.9! In fact, Edge was the one who beat the crap out of 
FO_HEAD! that one night, and got Tridus in trouble with Sid, and 
Edge was the one who directed that cocky piece of crap into the 
beatdown he deserved at the Death Match!

*The fans boo Edge.*

Edge: And finally, now that Edge has clarified that crap, and 
made it clear that he is going to be the special guest referee at 
the next Death Match... that is, of course, if Sid will allow 
it... He has just one more piece of business to attend to. And 
that is as follows: You see, a little while ago, two intelligent, 
strong and charismatic performers were given the chance to be 
ring announcers. But Edge knows that these people are 
multitalented professionals, and even if they didn't cut it as 
ring announcers, he is going to bring them out to be his new 
corporate panel. Yes, you heard the Great One right! He is 
bringing out his own, how do you say it, entourage, and is going 
to introduce two people with a shred of dignity and intelligence!


*And with that, Edge moves out of the way of the entryway as two 
skinny, short people with big heads come out. They are wearing 
shorts and t-shirts that are both too small on the each of them, 
and they are wearing black hoods to protect their identity. When 
they come out, they start doing a weird dance, with one of them 
kicking the air and the other one making humping motions. Then 
they accidentally walk into each other, scuffle for a bit, 
smacking each other, and then they both fall down and roll down 
the ramp. When they get up, one of them speaks.*

Mysterious Hooded Individual #1: Heh heh, that was cool, heh heh.

Mysterious Hooded Individual #2: Shut up, fartknocker.

Mysterious Hooded Individual #1: Kiss my ass, heh, buttmuch. Heh 
heh.

Edge: That's right! Edge stands for entertainment, and he got two 
people that can watch his back and represent what a true 
corporation is all about!

Mysterious Hooded Individual #1: Whoah! That girl in the front 
row has big boobs!

*Edge looks embarassed, then raises the eyebrow and continues 
speaking.*

Edge: Remove your masks, you jabronies! As you can all see, Edge 
has gotten the best assistants in this damn federation, Beatrice 
and Butt-Munch!

Beavis: Hey! It's Beavis, heh heh, fartknocker!

Butt-Head: Shut up, Beatrice. Huh huh. Beatrice. Huh huh huh...

*Beavis smacks Butt-Head and then the two start fighting down the 
ramp again, and around the ring. The audience boos.*

Edge: Uh... if you SMELL... what Edge... is cookin'.

*Edge leaves through the curtain while Beavis and Butt-Head still 
are rolling around and fighting. They eventually get picked up by 
security and are hauled off, kicking and screaming.*


Edge
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